Predict A Guy's Package Size By Looking At His Fingers

Here's an interesting experiment that you can try on your next date: you can apparently estimate a guy's penis size by simply studying his hands! And no this is not the "big hands, big dick" kind of generalization. You just have to know a little about ratios and proportions, and have a good eye in spotting size variations.

image courtesy of queerty.com

Queerty reports:

Research shows that clues to what a guy is packing may lie in the index finger. Gachon University Gil Hospital in South Korea found that the bigger the length discrepancy between the index and ring fingers, the bigger the penis is likely to be. The reason? Maybe something to do with prenatal hormone exposure, but they aren’t certain.

And it turns out that that index/ring ratio predicts more than the size of your manhood. The University of Geneva in Switzerland looked at the same measurement and found a correlation to masculine facial features, which are generally perceived as more attractive. The bigger the ratio, the more masculine the face, the higher “attractiveness” perception, the fuller the crotch. 


Interesting. You may want to conduct your own research and see if these findings will match yours. A sample size of about 30 men should probably do it.


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Are Gay Guys Incapable of Monogamy?

by Discreet Serpent
Originally Posted on August 7, 2014

Earlier today, I sent this question out via different social media channels:

“Hi guys! Do you believe that gay guys are capable of monogamy, or are we built to have multiple partners? Is cheating part of what makes us who we are? Have you ever cheated/been cheated on?”

I was pleasantly surprised with the overwhelming response I got, specifically from the gay chat app that’s normally used for hooking up. Different people, different opinions, all valid and within reason. Who says that chat rooms are now bereft of people who make sense?

If you are interested to find out what these boys think, read on…

image courtesy of nomblog.com

On Being Faithful

“Yes, we can be faithful just like heterosexual couples… thinking that we are different and having too much freedom (no marriage) are some of the reasons why our behavior (with being in a relationship) is different from the norm. I think being polygamous is a norm with the male species, but it still boils down to how much they (gay couples) love each other and how they value their friendship…” 

***Tripping***

“Men can be faithful. All it takes is discipline. Doing things that should be done even if you don’t feel like doing them. If the right person comes along, you will be ready to be “selfless.” At that point, being faithful wont be as difficult. 

***Barurotmoko***

“We are capable of monogamy.” 

***BigBadWolf***

“Yes I do believe in monogamy. But yeah, monogamy is difficult.” 

***Tytos***

On Polygamy

“People of all gender/preference are capable of cheating.” 

***1000 Rejectedme***

“I think there’s no difference with heterosexual relationships. Some guys are capable of committing to one partner, while some are not contented. They are looking for other partners simply because of the urge.” 

***Paul Dominique***

“Men in general are polygamous.” 

***Anonymous***

“By nature they say men are polygamous. So imagine, two polygamous men combined in this context. With two gay guys, who are men, polygamy would be an impossibility. 

***Nice & Decent*** 

“Yes! Not just capable, but most of the time gay guys are used to having multiple partners. Perfect example: the number one source of HIV in the country are bisexuals. We can only count couples who can share their love forever. This is also why most gay/bi guys are single til they reach 60. 

***Chok***

“Yes, im cheating. I guess I just want to experience other partners. I am not satisfied with what I get from my partner sometimes.” 

***Lander***

“I believe that men, not just gays, are by nature polygamous. This is why Islam allows men to enter multiple marriages. This is also why shows like The Legal Wife and My Husband’s Lover are accepted in our society. Men are likely to become unfaithful.” 

***Barurotmoko***

“A gay guy is still a man. Man is by nature polygamous”. 

***Jieben***

On Social Influences

“If a person repeatedly cheats in every relationship, then he might have his own issues. It may be the way the person was brought up, his socio-economic status,  or certain identity issues. Values and educational backgrounds are some factors that contribute to this behavior.” 

***Yok***

“Is cheating part of what makes us who we are? Why do we cheat in the first place? I believe there are social factors involved. Discreet gay guys, in particular, have all the freedom to sleep around. Nobody would notice because we are “discreet.” There are no social pressures because we don’t get pregnant, and nobody can judge us if we remain discreet. Nobody will suspect that we are cheating just because we are seen with another guy, and nobody will tell us to stop cheating.” 

***Nice & Decent***

 image courtesy of blogs.telegraph.co.uk

On Discipline and Maturity

“Are we capable of monogamy? Sure, but age and maturity are important factors. Based on my experience, I laid low when I was 28 (I am now 30). Nowadays, I value time and companionship, good and meaningful conversation over sex.” 

***Nice & Decent***

“Of course, I do believe that we are capable of monogamy. I can say this despite having been cheated on , and despite me having cheated as well. I cannot talk for the person who cheated on me, but I can speak for myself. Ultimately, it was a conscious choice that I made, giving in to lust and carnal desires. That was just it. The key to monogamy is to always choose the higher road, and to communicate openly with your partner about what you really want.” 

***Anonymous***

There is hope yet

“Historically and biblically , polygamy is man’s nature. Only a loving, selfless and God-fearing man can counter his nature. I still believe that there are guys (gay and straight alike) who are capable of true love.” 

***Barurotmoko***

“I believe that every gay man is capable of monogamy. As long as there is discipline, definitely it will work. Temptation is always there. But if we know how to stay out of it, it would do wonders. I’ve been in a serious relationship. I never cheat. We have never cheated with each other so I know all of us can do that.” 

***Jed***

“I believe in monogamous relationships. Yes, I’ve been cheated on and I also cheated in my previous relationship. And it really sucks. Maybe it can be regarded as a phase, a part of growing up. To know ourselves better.” 

***Yok***

image courtesy of vi.sualize.us

My Takeaways

I am very thankful for all these guys (and the rest who didn’t make the cut) for sharing their opinions on the topic. I would like to state that each and everyone of us are entitled to our own opinions, and we are certainly free to live our lives the way we want to.

I have nothing against people who cheat. In our society, cheating has turned out to be a norm of sorts. As long as you don’t get caught, you’re fine (or so they say).

Having said that, I do believe that monogamy is still possible even in a culture such as ours. It is a tad more challenging compared to our heterosexual counterparts, I must agree, but it is still something attainable. I refuse to let everyone believe otherwise. Thinking that monogamy is not possible is the first step to losing the battle. Possibilities are only limited by our imagination. If we think something is not doable, we are doomed to failure.

I have seen gay couples who practice monogamy (not a lot, I must add. But they’re out there). I have also talked to a lot of gay guys who want to be in committed, monogamous relationships. It may sound idealistic to some, but these people believe that they deserve nothing less than a real loving relationship. Hopefully, these people end up with each other so they are spared the pain and heartache.

Being in a monogamous relationship is a decision. Or at least, it begins with a decision. A commitment to stay true and firm, and to honor the love of your partner. It shouldn’t matter if you were raised otherwise or if you are surrounded by people who don’t value these things. What matters is how you decide to live. Make a choice, and be prepared to live with your choice. Whatever makes you happy.


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When Your Boyfriend Prefers to Stay Inside His Closet

by Discreet Serpent

Had an interesting discussion with a guy named RJ last Friday. Here's how it went:

image courtesy of goodreads.com

RJ: Here's a possible topic for you: Can a relationship last when both partners are in the closet? The answer is probably NO.

Me: That's an interesting question. May I ask why you think that being closeted affects it? (Sorry to hear about the breakup).

RJ: The closet isn't the best place to have a relationship. You're together but it's a secret. You hide it from family and friends. So you're together but you aren't together at the same time. You meet late night or at places where you won't be seen.

Me: Some people actually prefer the closet, where it's nice and comfy and private, and where there are no judgments.

RJ: Having others bear witness to your happiness I think is a whole other dimension to a relationship. I thought we were fine in the closet. Companionship was enough for me...

That conversation really hit close to home, as I have had similar struggles in the past. Which led me to ask these questions: "Do you think that a gay relationship can last long term or work out if one of the parties is 'in the closet?' Will this lifestyle difference have a negative impact on their relationship? Have you ever been in such a situation?" As always, my chat contacts were more than happy to oblige.

A good percentage of the respondents believe that a relationship can still work even if one person is in the closet. For them, the most important factors would be love and commitment. Both parties should love each other enough to accept what makes them different. They should both have a solid decision to stick to the relationship and keep it running no matter the odds. 

Just like me, there are some people who experienced (or are experiencing) being in a relationship with someone who doesn't share his privacy concerns. It is truly a challenge: there are too many things going on in a relationship and worrying about issues of privacy and secrecy just adds to the pile of issues and concerns. 

Some of the respondents had the tendency to just shy away from such complications. They have likely seen this issue escalate and ruin relationships around them. A lot of people take pride in the person they are dating, and having to keep that relationship a secret is tantamount to being ashamed of it.


Conclusion
At the end of the day, it boils to what both parties can handle in the relationship. Just like any other issue or concern, you and your boyfriend just need to find a common ground where you can both agree or compromise. You should have a serious discussion, and determine if staying in the closet (or sharing your love story to the world) is more important than keeping your relationship intact. You should respect each other's decision, and try to enjoy each other without complicating your relationship too much.

Question of the Day: Should Gay Couples Be Allowed To Adopt?

A very powerful photo that shows how some children are denied a good home
due to discrimination. Just like heterosexual couples, gay couples are capable
of providing a safe and loving environment for kids.

What I Did When My Sex Video Went Viral

by Discreet Serpent

image courtesy of musedmagonline

I was still hung over about this whole sex tape issue, so I just decided to send out a shout out to ask this ever relevant question:

Would you ever consider making a sex video or not? Why or why not? Alone or with a partner? What would make you want to do this? What will you do with the video?

Comments from respondents who do not want to make a sex tape.

"I had a bad experience with it"

I got a really interesting response that merits its own blog entry. It’s about his actual experience with having a viral sex video. He started with these words:

“It can make you or break you. I had a video with my partner way back and it somehow went viral on this porn site. Back then I was in college and didn’t bother thinking any consequences of making that video. Now, I’m not considering making another one.”

***Oberyn, 27***

I was intrigued and I was curious. And I wanted to find out more. So I asked a couple of follow up questions. I am amazed at how casual the conversation went; anonimity does have its perks.

Privacy is important to a lot of gay guys.

"I loved him and i trusted him"

It started as something that he and his boyfriend wanted to try out. He was in college then, and his partner was 4 years older than him. They agreed that the video should be kept private and between the two of them. It was exciting and it was cool and they both enjoyed making it.

Fast forward to when one of his friends approached him to say that his video has been posted online. It was clear enough and impossible to deny. To make things worse, some irresponsible members of the campus gay community helped spread it around.  It was not a good time for him. He confronted his partner and they ended up breaking up. Up until this day, he has no idea who posted the video. All he knows is that the copy leaked from is boyfriend.

Some people live a risky life.

Waiting for the storm to pass

A few months later, the issue died down after newer and more daring posts emerged. I asked him how he handled the situation. If something like this happened to me, I have no idea what I would do. He said that he just kept his mouth shut throughout the ordeal. He believed that saying something, anything, would just lead to other issues. He thought that it was better not to say anything and to just wait for the storm to pass.

He also had great support from his closest friends. Without judgment, they did their part by not spreading the links and helping to keep rumors at bay. It was not a good time for him but he somehow found the courage to push through and overcome the obstacles.

On regrets and moving on

When this all started, Oberyn did not really think about the consequences of making a sex tape. He trusted the person he was dating, and didn't think that there was too much to lose. To a certain extent, he was even cocky about making the video. Regret, as it turns out, bites you in the ass at the end. His sexual preference came out of the open involuntarily. He became the talk of the town. He was pushed into a situation that wasn't exactly preferable to him.

But he tried to move on.

You can never really leave something like this behind. He thinks that the website has already been shut down, and that his video is lost in oblivion. He does, however, think about the experience from time to time. There is always a dark shadow hovering behind him, of a possibility that this nightmare will somehow come back when he least expects it. 

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Can You Find Lifelong Friends or Long Term Partners in Gay Chat Apps?

by Discreet Serpent

I love chatting with people, strangers or otherwise. Anonymity aside, it allows me to connect with people from different walks of life and gain insight from their experiences. Lately, I’ve been using the chat sites to gather information about certain topics that I want to write about. I do get a lot of substantial responses, but also some interesting propositions from guys who are obviously in it for sexual gratification.

I’m pretty sure that I (with my scholarly pursuits) am an exception to the general rule. But this made me wonder: Is it possible to find lifelong friends or long term relationships in gay chat sites like Grindr or Hornet, or are these apps purely for hooking up?

You can definitely find your soul mate here

“It’s absolutely possible. The guys here are not necessarily doomed. You just have to find the right person at the right place and at the right time.”

***Born to Beat***

“It’s possible but very rare. As in VERY rare haha. Maybe 15% of 100? Based on experience…”

***@Joshtannnnn***

“Possible.”

***Altitude, 31***

"I think so. As the saying goes, love is just in a corner. Gay websites may be a place for hook ups but I believe there are still people who look for love. Real love for serious relationships. Just like me."
***Mark***

You have to defy the odds, but you just may find it

“It’s possible as I found both my long terms relationships on sites like Grindr. But based on our experience, you have to weed through thick vegetation to find it. “

***MPowered***

“You can still find lifelong friendships and relationships but it will be hard. Needs a lot of patience. But most of the gay guys using these apps are mainly looking for hookups.”

***RR, 27***

“It doesn’t matter where you meet the guy… be it via an app or the street or a chat room…If you find him, you find him. Technology just made it easy to meet people. But with or without technology, it’s difficult to find the right man for a lot of reasons.”

***bud, 37***

“Grindr was made as a gaydar to locate nearby geighs. It is mainly for hookups. But I do believe in miracles…”

***@karakochaka***

You can find someone, but they might not last long

“Yes, it’s possible. I met two of my latest exes from Grindr. But I wouldn’t call it long term. Ex number 3 from Batangas was almost one year, and ex number 4 from Quezon City had issues with me being online on the app. I was open to having other guys on the side but my partner wasn’t because he was older and a bit serious. His best friend caught me using the app with “open relationship” as a status without his consent. Thus we broke up after 4 months.

***#SwagLove, 27***

“Yes, but not for me. Lol!”

***Sailormoon, 26***

It’s a character issue, not a technology issue

“It depends on the personality of the person you are chatting with but in my opinion, it’s very rare especially in our case as homosexuals.”

***Engt.M, 20***

“It depends on who you ask and what it is that they are looking for when they joined. I don’t really have personal experience yet as I consider myself a Grindr Virgin (I only created my account recently), but as for me, when I joined, I just wanted to see what it’s like in here and I hope to meet new friends along the way.”

***Chubby Whale, 29***

“For me I think it depends on your intention and how you project yourself.”

***naughty***

No way, you’re better off at the mall

“No, it isn’t. I found a partner in Planet Romeo but our relationship didn’t last. I left him. All we did was have sex and I didn’t feel that I was important to him in other aspects.”

***Versace, 23***

“60-70 percent of the population using this app have it for hookup purposes. The rest of the population uses it hoping to find long term relationships/friendships, but even this population sometimes find themselves in a situation which turns out to be just a hookup.”

***SmileyFace, 30***

“For hook up. Coz you can really find hot, stud and horny guys here in Grindr. Safe sex is always a must.”

***Jagger***

“No. Meeting feeling here is superficial. Only for hook ups. No serious romantic relationships. But I must say that based on experience, most people I’ve met here initially would go for sex. The following meetings would be more open and contain honest conversations. Eventually, we turned out as friends/acquaintances. People who get into relationships here will eventually feel that their partners could be playing behind their backs (maybe through this app or other means).

***Anonymous***

“What counts as long term for you? 1 year? Well the people you’d talk to who say they were in a 1-year relationship would have broken up with their partners already coz they’re looking again in Grindr.”

***Jerod***

So what now?

From the looks of it, most of the guys using chat apps are pessimistic about finding true love thru that channel. This probably stems from the fact that they know their intentions coming into these apps, and would not want to date people who are similarly inclined. It would be very stressful, after all, to think about the possibility of your partner hooking up via Grindr or Hornet behind your back. That would be enough to break a budding relationship apart.

There are, however, optimists who think that true love can still be found in the midst of temptation. Just find the right person at the right time, they say. People change and can stop looking once they find their soul mate, they claim.

I used to be a chronic chatter, for all the wrong (or right?) reasons too. Without trying to sound like a slut, I pretty much slept with most of the people I met up with. (That was when I was single, of course. But that’s not the point of this entry). But I also met one of my best friends in a chat room. We were super wholesome (it bored me at the start, but I got over it) and talked mostly about comic books, work, and staying in the closet. We have been friends for a long time, and that’s why I think there are still “quality” people out there. Just waiting to be discovered.

My thoughts on the issue? I do believe that you can find friendships and relationships in the weirdest of places. You just got to have an open mind about it.

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Do Our Parents Need To Know About Our Sexuality?

by Discreet Serpent

It’s an age old question. How much should our parents know about our lives? Should they be privy on who we are dating and how we are spending our evenings? Do they have to know about our sexuality or is that something that’s better off left in oblivion? I personally have NOT told my parents about my sexual preference. Do they know about it? Probably. They would be insensitive and dense not to notice. Do we talk about it? Never. 

I have a lot of friends who have decided to keep their secret from their families. Each has a different reason. Some are not comfortable. Some are afraid of the repercussions. Some just don’t care. They either just live their lives pretending to be something they are not, or just enjoy what they have and leave other people wondering.

I also have friends who have told their families about their preference. Some of them surprised their parents when they came out. Some of them are obvious and didn’t need to say anything at all.

So I just had to ask around: Do your parents know you’re gay/bi? If NOT, do you have plans of telling them (and how)? If YES, how did they find out (and what was their reaction)?

image courtesy of liveleak.com

YES, they know about it

“Yes. Parental instinct…”

***@IRRELEVANTguy08***

“Yes. They found out through my relatives and the transformation I had. And now, I’m a legal bitzzz."

***@iloveDICKSxxx***

“Well in my case, even when I was young, they’ve been saying that I am gay. But when I grew up I became more masculine so they cannot determine my true sexual orientation. My mother and sisters know that I am bisexual. I tell them what I feel about myself and they are in full support of me. I can’t talk about it with my brother because I’m afraid about how he would feel if he found out that his only brother is gay.”

***Zack, 28***

“They know.”

***anonymous***

“My parents are well aware of it and it’s open in our family. Maybe because it runs in the blood. But we’re not out. The bisexual genes are from my mom’s American grandparents.”

***Beau, 29***

We NEVER DISCUSSED it

“I never had a girlfriend and probably they knew ever since I was young. Instinct? Well, they just shut up about it. My sisters are open to it but they never ask about it.”

***Verve, 30***

“ I guess they always knew. We never spoke about it, like had a sit-down of sort. I guess I’m blessed with loving parents.”

***TheJeffCifra***

“I consider my mom as my bestfriend. We haven’t really talked about my sexual preference but I think she knows. Mother’s instinct. Maybe she just loves me that much and does not want me to be embarrassed in any way. In case she asks me, I’d be willing to tell her. How? I’ll be extra sweet, sit beside and hug her, and share my story from the day I realized that I am me. Of course, minus the sexual stories.”

***olaf, 29***

 image courtesy of artfire.com

NO, and I would keep it that way

“I did not admit that I am gay when I was confronted by my parents. Maybe they sensed that I’m different because of my lifestyle and choices. I don’t plan on telling them any of this.”

***0917554xxx9, 24***

“No. No plans.”

***Dude4DateB,  28***

"No, because I'm afraid of the reaction not only of my family but even friends and other people."

***name***

“No. Maybe if they ask.”

***Swimmer, 26***

“No, they don’t. I don’t see the possibility of coming out to them; at least not in the near future.”

***anonymous***

“They don’t know. And I don’t have plans of telling them.”

***UsapTayo!, 25***

We handle things differently

Obviously, different people handle their personal issues differently. Some people feel obliged to tell their parents about their sexuality because not doing so would be a violation of trust. Other people feel that they are not under any obligation to explain themselves to anyone. Still others are feeling the weight of social pressure and are afraid of being discriminated against or rejection. It boils down to a personal decision: is coming out to your parents really that important to you?

A lot of discreet gay guys claim that should their parents or siblings confront them about their sexuality, they would be happy to discuss it. Ask and you shall find out. I have said this myself numerous times. But I wonder how the conversation would really go. First, I am curious as to what would make my parents ask in the first place. Second, I wonder what the scenario would be (over dinner? During a family vacation? A random question while we’re stuck in traffic?) And finally, would I be as calm and collected as I think I would be? Chances are, I would be caught off guard and mumble words before I could answer. Now I’m dreading that moment.

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