5 Pitfalls To Avoid Before Moving In With Your Partner

You are madly in love with your new boyfriend, and you suddenly want to move in with him. And why not? Life will be so much better if you go to bed together and wake up in the morning with each other, right? Well, you may be into each other but you have to take some things into consideration prior to moving in together. There are certain pitfalls that you need to avoid during your decision making process. Read on.

image courtesy of lustralboy.com

1. Do not assume that your roommates are okay with it
This is a non-issue if you have your own place, but a big deal if you are rooming with other people. You have to make the decision taking other people into consideration. You may think that your mates are okay with you bringing in a new person, but not everyone is as welcoming as you are. Make sure to consult them first, and get their honest opinion about having your boyfriend live with them. If they disagree with you, you have no choice but to respect their decision. Or to move out.

2. Do not be blinded by the promise of more money
Most people think that moving in together is more economical. After all, you now have somebody to split your bills with. If you have the same body type and shoe size, you also just doubled your wardrobe. You also save a lot on travel expenses and restaurant bills. But if this is your main consideration, you have another thing coming. After all, this "benefit" could blind you from other "deal breakers." Be prudent, and don't let the temptation of a bigger budget faze you. 

 3. Do not take him for granted because you live together
Just because you live with your partner does not mean that you can stop consciously making an effort to make time for him. Stop thinking "I see him everyday, anyway!" because before you know it, you are no longer paying attention to him. Proximity does not mean intimacy, and you still have to  take time for dates. So when you decide to live together, make sure to set regular quality time together.

4. Do not forget to make time for yourself
You may live together and see each other regularly, but that does not mean that you can't set aside personal "me" time. Successful relationships are usually those between partners who respect each other's personal time. They have their own lives and can spend time with their own sets of friends. A partnership, after all, is still made up of two individuals. Do not lose your individuality just because you now have a live-in partner.

5. Do not assume that everything will be easy
After all, love is never enough. This is a major change in both of your lives, and it will take some time before you fully assimilate into each other's lives. There are so many things that could go wrong, and keeping the toilet clean is but one of those things.


So before you jump head first into a decision that could potentially ruin your life, take a big step backwards and think about all the pros and cons. After all, living with the one you love could be the best thing that will ever happen to you. Sadly, it could also spell the beginning of the end.


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5 Things To Consider Before Entering Into An Open Relationship

I got several inquiries and reactions after I posted the "Open Relationships: Salvation or Doom" article last month. Some people were adamant in saying that there is no justification for entering such a complicated setup. Being in a real loving relationship means a connection between two people, and third parties have no place at all. Others were grateful that the "taboo" topic was openly discussed and that valid reasons were given to explain why people would opt for such a setup.

Being in an open relationship is indeed complicated, but as I have seen it could work for some couples. It would probably take more effort from both parties, but the payoff could be worth it in the end. Here are some things that you need to know before you consider being in this kind of relationship:

image courtesy of markbrennanrosenberg.blogspot.com

1. Are you ready to be jealous?
We are talking about your partner potentially sleeping with other people. People who could be hotter than you, more intelligent than you, more interesting than you, and likely better endowed. No matter how progressive you think you are, there will be certain situations where you will feel a bit insecure and a tad jealous. Is that something that you can handle? Or will that lead you to a path of self-destruction? Ultimately, you will be the one suffering so you need to be really honest about this, and you need to make sure that you can handle jealousy when it comes knocking on your brain.

2. Are you stable?

Stability here does not necessarily pertain to mental stability (although it would be a plus) or financial stability (which is irrelevant in this case). Before you enter into an open relationship, you should make sure that your current relationship is stable. Have you been with your partner for a long time? Has your relationship stood the test of time? Are you certain that you can sustain your relationship no matter what happens? Having a strong foundation based on trust and love would help a lot if you and your partner decide to take the leap and venture into an open relationship.

If you are considering this setup with a new partner, it would be more tricky. I think that trust is essential if open relationships are to work, and trust is not something that happens overnight. In this case, the stability needs to come from within you. You have a better chance of surviving if you come into an open relationship with a strong head and steady emotions. It would be a bad idea to come into this if you are stressed out in life.

image courtesy of gaypoly.wordpress.com

3. Are you ready to be fair?

Reciprocity is the name of the game. In an open relationship, you need to be willing to let your partner do something if you want to do something. You can't be sleeping around and expect your partner to be monogamous. If you go out on dates to get to know your potential "hits," then he should be allowed to do the same. 

4. Are you ready to communicate?

First, you need to have a lengthy discussion with your partner. Be clear as to what you want out of this setup, and make sure that he speaks his mind as well. Specific is terrific. Set up rules if you need to, and set boundaries. Are you only allowed to sleep with other people when you are in another time zone? Are you allowed to sleep with someone more than once? Are you limited to having sex with others only when both of you are present? Are you required to tell each other about your exploits? Who are you allowed to sleep with? Do you have a "no bang list" or a list of people that you should never touch (like relatives or exes)?  Rules will make you maintain a certain amount of trust and will help you sustain your open relationship. It will also set you apart from being just a normal couple who sleeps around with others.

You should also be upfront with other people who could be affected by your decision. If you engage in one night stands with other people then there should be no problem. If you have a more regular third party partner, however, he should know what he is signing up for. Spare him the drama and let him know that you are already in an open relationship.

You may also want to consider telling your friends about your setup. That way, they won't get stressed if they see you or your partner getting sexy with other people.

5. What are your reasons behind entering this setup?
If you are entering this setup to save an already doomed relationship, then chances the relationship is doomed anyway. This is not a quick fix or a patch you can use to save something that is already over.


From what I gathered, open relationships could be great if it's something that works out for you. It gives you enough freedom to meet and learn from other people while maintaining that one special relationship that's for keeps. It gets you out of being monotonous, and it spices up a relationship. And you can just imagine the conversations that you and your partner can have based on your new experiences! But then again, this setup does not work for a lot of people. As such, it's not something that you should get into without serious thought and consideration.


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8 Questions You Shouldn't Ask A Gay Guy

by Discreet Serpent

I started this blog for a number of reasons, one of which was to educate my friends about homosexuality. A good number of them have limited knowledge about how gay people are, and most of their perceptions resulted from their limited exposure to our kind. "Gay," for them, refers to guys who act like girls, want to be girls, or dress like girls.

Most of them were shocked when a "straight looking guy" like myself turned out to be gay.

I have been asked a lot of questions by these friends of mine, mostly brought about by their curiosity about my lifestyle. Some of their inquiries were downright disturbing and wrong, and I had to call them out each time. Here are some of the "classic" ones:

image courtesy of trendandtonic.thefuturescompany.com

1. Are you the guy or the girl in your relationship?
I laugh like crazy every time I hear this one. If you are a straight guy/girl reading this post, please, please: never ask this question. It makes you look like an ignorant person. That's the thing about a gay relationship: the parties are both guys (or both girls). Sometimes, we take on the "top" or "bottom" roles, but this is not really a requirement. And being a bottom doesn't equate to being a girl.

2. Why did you choose to be gay?

It's really not a choice, my friend. These are the cards I was dealt with. Did you ever have to choose to be straight?

3. Have you ever tried dating a woman? If not, how sure are you that you are gay?
As a matter of fact, I have dated several women. So I know the distinction. Now assuming I have not dated women before, I'm pretty sure I would still know that men turn me on. Oh wait, let me ask you the same question: have you ever tried dating someone of the same sex? Maybe you should try it, just so you're sure about your sexuality.

4. Do you want to be a girl? 
I am happy to have a penis, thank you very much. And please, don't call me "girl" or invite me to a "girls' night out." I am very happy with how I look and with my physiological features. Read up on "LGBTQ" and try to understand the differences.

5. Is there a chance that this is just a phase?

Everything is possible in this world. Maybe you should try having sex with someone of the same sex, and see if your being straight is also a "just a phase."

image courtesy of cheezburger.com

6. You don't look gay. You look straight, actually. It's such a shame, don't you think?
Thanks for the "compliment," but if you think all gay guys look the same (or have the same "vibe") then you are sadly mistaken. Just because I like men doesn't mean that I need to act like a girl. My sexual orientation does not reflect how I want to present myself to others. I act the way that makes me the most comfortable.

7. Aren't you scared of getting HIV?
Last I heard, the HIV virus needs to be transmitted sexually (or via blood transfusion, if you want to be more inclusive). I won't get it for simply being gay. And guess what? We have about the same chances of getting the virus so maybe you should start worrying about who you're sleeping with.

8. So who else in our circle is gay?
I'm flattered that you think I have an excellent gaydar, dear. But let me set something straight. Just because I came out to you doesn't mean that I have the right to "out" everybody else. It's not my decision, and I refuse to be an asshole.

image courtesy of washington.edu

So there you have it, straight guys and girls. These are some of the questions that you probably shouldn't ask a gay guy. If you do, you might get similar responses as mine (if you ask a really nice gay guy). And if you happen to encounter a really bitchy gay guy, you will probably get more interesting responses. And possibly a bitch slap or two.


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Forget These 10 Relationship Rules!

by Discreet Serpent

We have all heard the "experts." These relationship "gurus" have laid down the rules and told us what we all need to do in order to make our relationship work. Just do what they are saying and we will all live happily ever after. But guess what? Relationships still end. Partners still fight. These so called "rules" aren't 100% reliable, after all.

My advice? Forget these relationship rules!

image courtesy of aei-ideas.org

1. "Learn each other's hobbies"

If he is a basketball freak and you are a fan of the arts, you can try bridging your gap by participating in each other's hobbies once in a while. This does not mean, however, that you have to force yourself to learn how to play the game. And you shouldn't expect him to watch the opera with you every weekend, either. You are allowed to enjoy your own interests separately.

2. "Your partner is your best friend"

He should be allowed to have his own close friends, someone whom he can talk to in case he needs advice about his relationship issues with you. You both need other people in your lives whom you can rely on and talk to in times of need. Let's face it: you may be the love of his life but he has probably known his best buddies since they were kids.

3. "You must share all secrets"

If you share all your secrets with him, you risk losing the trust of other people. Certain things need to be kept under wraps, like your best friend's secret love affair or your closeted brother's sexual preference. You just need to discern which secrets are worth sharing, and which secrets are irrelevant to your relationship.

image courtesy of theblaze.com

4. "Don't go to bed when you are angry at each other"

While this is a good relationship rule, it only works when both parties are genuinely apologetic and forgiving. But if you guys are just forcing yourself to be "happy" for the sake of following a rule, then you are just deceiving yourselves. Sometimes, a good night's sleep helps take away the anger and irritation. You may wake up in the morning realizing how stupid your argument the previous day was.

5. "You should be together in every event"

While it should be expected that you are each other's date during weddings and family affairs, there are certain activities that you need to do separately. If he needs to go out with his high school buddies, for example, then there's no need for you to tag along. You will just end up feeling uncomfortable because nobody knows you, and your partner probably won't enjoy because he has to take care of you.

6. "Don't ask (or beg) someone to make time for you"

It is a common relationship mistake to think that your partner should be sensitive to what you need at all times. Yes, he is expected to know you, but he is not a mind reader. There are things that are better said out loud. So if you feel that he has been spending too much time at the office, it would be wiser to just ask him to go on a date with you instead of waiting for something that probably won't happen.

image courtesy of washingtonblade.com

7. "You must have a date night at least once a week"

It's sweet of you to devote at least one night for each other, and this would definitely help boost your relationship for the better. However, this must not be an absolute rule. There are instances where you will need to make adjustments and cancel on each other. If he can't make your Saturday night date because he has to bring his mother around, you will need to understand and not throw a fit.

8. "Forget about the ex"

In some relationships, the topic of "the ex boyfriend" is considered taboo. After all, what's in the past should remain in the past, right? Well, if you take time to know what happened with his ex you may learn a thing or two about making your current relationship work better. It will also put all your insecurities and questions about his previous relationships at bay.

9. "Once you break up, you should not get back together"

They say that breakups are indicators that your relationship is doomed. You will make the same mistakes over and over again, hurting each other more in the process. On the flip side, breakups will make you realize how much your partner really means to you. It will show you how important he is and how he makes your life better. A reconciliation also means forgiveness, something that will make your relationship so much stronger.

10. "Don't listen to what your friends say about him"

While it is true that you are the one who should truly know your partner, it would also be wise to take the advice of your friends. If they all tell you that your partner is bad news, then maybe you should look into the matter and not turn a blind eye. Trust is essential in a relationship, but it doesn't mean that you should be stupid.

image courtesy of syracuse.com

In summary, I do believe that certain rules need to be followed in order for a relationship to work. The absence of rules, after all, will result in chaos and anarchy. We are, however, supposed to be intelligent human beings who can make decisions for ourselves. As such, we should know when to "bend" these rules to our advantage.


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8 Difficult People To Have Plans With

by Discreet Serpent

We all have them: friends who can sometimes be too obnoxious to realize that they are very difficult to have plans with. They make party planning a nightmare; they usually object to certain dates and times until they settle on a schedule that's "perfect" for them. Sometimes it's better to just exclude them from plans and just see if they will make it anyway.

At times, we may also find ourselves in these kinds of situations. It could be because of a crazy month at work or a personal project that we are engaged in. We want to fit as many events in our schedules as possible and forget that other people's time is important too. In any case, here is a list of 8 kinds of people who make the lives of organizers hellish.

1. Talk to my secretary

Some people require two to three weeks of advance notice. They have such a busy social (and work) calendar that it is almost impossible to ask them out for a quick meet up. They will "get back to you" after checking with their assistants or their personal organizer. They have a tendency to reschedule, and will get offended if you don't adjust to their time. 

2. What's RSVP? 

There are also those friends who just say yes to anything but don't show up at the event. Something came up. They can also totally ignore your invitation or respond ten days after you send your text message blast. They don't seem to grasp the idea of an RSVP, and have no respect for the careful planning and budgeting that you did just to make sure that you have enough food for everyone. And how you had to bump off your boyfriend's brother just so you can fit one more person on the guest list.

3. You need to come over
You're such a good friend that you will do anything to just see your pal. It doesn't matter that he doesn't seem to want to stray off too far from his house. It's always the coffee shop right across his village, or the mall located a few blocks from his office. And you have to pick him up.

4. I'm free whenever
He says he is free whenever. Just call him and he will meet you at a moment's notice. But guess what? He is never available. He always comes up with an excuse not to see you. There goes your impromptu plan to use him as a winger at this new bar tonight.

5. I'll bring a friend
You're in town for a couple of days and you want to have a serious conversation with your best friend whom you haven't seen in months. You just found the love of your life and you are dying to share the good news. Nothing like a fun conversation with someone who understands how difficult it was for you to even consider commitment. You call your friend and he says he will be happy to meet you. But he's bringing a friend.

6. I'll call you when I'm done
And then there's the guy who has no regard for other people's time whatsoever. It's 7 PM and he's still at work doing overtime. You planned this reunion for quite some time and are very excited. You call him to check on his whereabouts (you are already at the restaurant, of course) and he says he is almost done. He will be there as soon as he finishes. But he has no idea how long it will take.

7. Meet me right now
Some people think that being in their presence is in itself a blessing. They are God's gifts to mankind, so to speak. They will send you a message letting you know that they are doing some errands at the mall and that you should take this opportunity to spend some time with them. Because you have nothing better to do with your life.

8. Always late
And then there's the person who is always late. Even when you lie about the actual time of the event. They don't care that you have to get inside the venue early to get good seats or that your reservations could get cancelled if the party is not complete at the designated time. And usually, this guy lives just a few minutes away.

But then again, they are our friends and we love them nonetheless. All it takes is a sweet apology or a free dinner, and everything is back to normal. And besides, we sometimes find ourselves being that person. Still, these bad habits need to be changed. We should learn to respect each other's time.



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5 Signs That Your Ex Wants You Back

by Discreet Serpent

After several months of dating you and your boyfriend decide to call it quits. Irreconcilable differences, as you put it. You try to move on with your life, consider (casually) dating other people, and try to make sense of new path that's right in front of you. Just as you're starting to get your groove back, you start noticing the presence of your ex. He seems to be everywhere, seemingly forgetting the painful experience that you both went through. Could he be there because he wants you back? Or is it his way of making it clear that he has already moved on?

image courtesy of thenume.files.wordpress.com

Here are 5 signs that your ex wants you back in his life:

1. He talks about you and your relationship
Your friends will tell you that your ex asks about your whereabouts a lot. He is curious about how you are coping after the breakup and what steps you have taken to get over the pain. He will try to find out what activities you have been up to and if you are seeing new guys. He will casually ask common friends questions about you in the hopes of finding out that you still want him back.

He will cling to your old memories and dwell on the happy times. When he's with his friends he will slowly drift away from the conversation and inject topics that are related to you: how you travelled to Europe that one time, how you spend hours on the phone talking about nothing and everything, or how you love to pig out at your favorite restaurant. It will be obvious that he does not want to let go of what you had, and has high hopes to regain what was lost.

image courtesy of americablog.com

2. He will try to contact you

Every break up should have a "no contact rule," a time frame where both parties are not allowed to communicate with each other. It is during this time that you will discover that you can move on with your lives without the other person. Usually, this would run about 30 days.

If your ex tries to contact you within days or weeks after the big break up, then something is definitely up. This could be a "random" text message saying "good morning," or a simple comment to the photo you posted on Facebook. And be warned about the "drunk dialing" (while it may sound fun, it can only mean that strong feelings are still at play). 

The gesture is simple, but the effects could be epic (or disastrous, depending on how you look at it). People who break up normally don't talk to each other unless they need to work together or meet up for the divorce settlement. If your ex tries to contact you, it means that he wants to keep the communication lines open. It means that he is trying to find the best way to get through your defenses. 

3. He will be a "changed man"
Your relationship ended for a reason, and it is likely for behaviors that can be attributed to the both of you. If you ex is trying to get you back, he will make an effort to fix his mistakes and make it up to you. He will try to talk about the errors of his way and discuss how things would be different moving forwards. If he used to act violently, he will show a tender side that you haven't seen since you were first dating. If you caught him cheating, he will prove to you that he regrets everything by showing you his message inbox and his deleted dating apps. He will try to fix whatever caused your breakup and "forgive" you for your contribution in the matter.

image courtesy of wgsn.com

4. You will "accidentally" run into him all the time
You see him everywhere. You feel his presence all the time. You will think it's serendipity, you will think it's fate that's pulling you back together. I mean, what are the chances that you end up being in the same bus or the same movie theater, right?

Destiny aside, you are probably running into your ex a lot because he is trying his best to find ways to run into you. He probably collaborates with your best friend, finding out everything he can about your daily schedules. He likely stalks you day in and day out, trying to figure out a "subtle" way to cross paths. He obviously knows how your mind works and how you normally spend your day, so getting into your head won't be that difficult. He wants you back bad enough that he is willing to become a creepy stalker just to be on your good side.

5. He is extra sweet and extra caring
He will ask you out on "friendly" dates once in a while, and put his best foot forward in the process. He will show you a "tender" and loving side that you probably haven't seen before. He will be extra romantic, bringing you presents and taking you to your favorite places. And yes, he will ignore the fact that he hates the opera or detests Japanese food. Just so you're happy.

image courtesy of gayse.net

And if you want him back (you know you do), you will find all of these things sweet and romantic. You will choose to believe that all these signs are pointing towards the direction of reconciliation. You will forget all the hurtful words exchanged, and all the traumatic experiences of the past. You will blindly step forward and believe, once again, that things will work out.


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6 Things That Will Make You Smarter

by Discreet Serpent


No matter how intelligent you think you are, there are new things waiting to be discovered. Intelligence is not a constant state, and there are mental exercises that can keep improve your brain functions significantly. You can read books, go back to school, or watch informative TV shows to increase your knowledge base. There are also options that will not take as much effort or commitment.

image courtesy of justajeepguydc.blogspot.com

1. Take a break from social media

If you find yourself spending too much time checking your Grindr, Facebook timeline and Twitter feed, you need to take a break and browse through other interesting websites. The internet is full of learning resources that can substantially improve your mental faculties. Look for sites that offer online courses on topics that interest you. Read online reviews of movies, books, and plays so you can have additional conversation pieces reserved. Check out news and public affairs sites to keep yourself updated on current events.You can also learn new skills by reading posts from “do-it-yourself” websites.

2.Take notes and document

Start a private journal or an online blog to document the things that you have learned. Take a few minutes to reflect about your new experience, paying special attention to small details. Write about how you came across the information, what measures you took to learn it, a brief summary of your takeaways, and what you plan to do next. This is a way of re-living your learning experience.

It is also important to keep tabs of the things you have accomplished on a daily basis. While listing down the things that you need to do helps with organization, writing down the things you have achieved will help boost your confidence. The list will give you an idea about your capacity for learning things. It will also serve as an inspiration for you to want to learn even more new things.

3. Explain to other people

Have you ever wondered why teachers seem extremely knowledgeable about the things that they discuss in class? Aside from the fact that it is their job to know their lesson plan, the confidence and knowledge comes from repetition.

The only way to make sure that you fully understand something is if you are able to explain it to other people in your own words. Similar to writing things down, saying things out loud helps in committing things to memory. Learning something is one thing, but the ability to retain information is what really counts.

4. Surround yourself with smart people

One of the best ways to be smarter is to surround yourself with people who are more intelligent than you. Your intelligence level is limited by the kind of people you hang out with. Having conversations with people smarter than you will serve as a challenge for you to improve. You will also learn new things by simply listening to other people talk. This process may take a toll on your self-esteem but you should focus on the long term benefits.

image courtesy of justajeepguydc.blogspot.com

5. Play a game

A bunch of rowdy adults playing board games may seem juvenile to you but their average IQ will likely be much higher than yours. Games, after all, do not only serve to entertain. Certain games involve a lot of brain function and can boost your memory and intelligence. Word games will not only improve your vocabulary but also make your mind think deeply. Role playing games encourage strategic planning as well as critical thinking. Trivia games test your knowledge base and makes you learn new things while having a few laughs.

6. Take time to let things sink in

Too much information can make your head spin. A tired mind will not do you any good if your goal is to improve your knowledge. It is best to give your brain time to process what it has learned. Take quick breaks in between reading. Even scholars and academics take the time to let new information register in their brains.


Personal improvement is something that you should always strive for. Being smarter, in particular, will help you achieve your goals and gain the respect of others.


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How Big Are You? Check These Charts of Average Penis Size By Country!

Ever wondered how your country fares in terms of penis size? These charts show a visual comparison of average dick sizes by country. "Average" being the operative word. 

Chart 1 shows a huge advantage by Congo over runner up Germany. That's over 1 inch. What have they been feeding those guys over there? On the other hand, Indonesia looks like it's dominating the Asian front, with Malaysia in a close second.

Here's a less user friendly chart that features more countries. 

So who wants to go hunting in Congo? :)

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How To Seduce a Straight Guy

by Discreet Serpent
Originally posted on August 3, 2014

I love straight men, or as some people would say, "straight" men. They are adventurous, inquisitive, and surprisingly easy to please. Because they are in unfamiliar territory, they are nervous yet willing to learn. And they smell really, really nice. Yes, I am talking about being in bed with them.

Image courtesy of: cheezburger.com

When we hear about straight guys having sex with gay guys, the initial assumption would be that the guy got paid. Or the guy is using the gay guy for financial gain. While there is a certain truth to that, wouldn't you rather get your guy using more creative means? Wouldn't you rather hunt and enjoy the chase in the process? This, for me, is the best way to satisfy your straight guy cravings. So how do you go about with it?

Good Conversations
Like any normal "courtships," getting your guy comfortable is the key to everything. It is particularly tricky for discreet gay guys because there is a certain amount of deceit going on. Unlike porn movie scenes, you can't just bring a straight guy to a room, grab his crotch, and expect fireworks. You will probably end up with a black eye that way (although it could work for certain people). Get to know him. Gain his trust. Learn his weaknesses. Be his best friend. Listen to him.

Flirting and Joking Around
Once you become buddies, it would be easier to start flirting. With subtlety, of course. You need to test the waters and see how he responds to your advances. Start with the simple "hope you had a great day" message, and inject messages like "I was thinking about you earlier" and "I wish you were here to help me with this project." It would really depend on your personality and on how you think your guy friend would receive your advances. If he responds positively, then you can slowly proceed to "I miss you." For most guys, messages with sexual innuendos work best. It's all done in the spirit of fun, so you are likely to get away with these messages unscathed.

Get Him Drunk
Straight guys think that being drunk is an excuse for doing anything crazy. If they are under the influence of alcohol, everything is excusable. They can do something that they would "never do" and blame it on the alcohol. You, my gay friend, can use this to your advantage. Invite him over to your place, grab a few beers, and drink the night away. This will help set the mood. Just be careful not to make him drink too much, or he will just pass out on your couch.

Set the Mood
One word. Porn. Straight porn, of course.

Ask Him Questions
"What was the best blowjob you ever got?" "When was the last time you had sex?" "What was the most adventurous encounter you ever had?" Share your own experiences, and inject some gay related statements like "I heard guys give the best blowjobs because they have penises and they know what's most pleasurable."

Test The Waters
Put your arm on his shoulders and let it stay there. Or let your hand linger on his thigh longer than it should. Simple gestures that could mean nothing, but could be an indicator of his willingness to go all the way. If he smiles or just let you do what you are doing, then you can proceed with having your head on his lap or his shoulder. He will start to breathe heavy, an indication that he has an idea about what's going to happen. Make sure he relaxes. Offer him more beer. Better yet, offer to give him a massage (this ALWAYS works).

Rebuttal Statements
In some cases, there will be resistance. Your best argument: "We are both guys. We won't lose anything if we fool around." This is actually an asinine argument, but guys really believe that if they lose nothing, then it will be alright. You can't get pregnant. You won't be clingy. And you will be discreet about it. After all, nobody CAN know about your encounter. It will be embarrassing! (wink wink).

Performance Level
Once you're in, you have to give the performance of your life. Make it worth his time. Make him realize that the best experiences can be given by another man. Be adventurous and make sure you exceed his expectations. Learn about his best sexual encounter and make sure to top it! After all, you may want to go for seconds.

The Aftermath
This is probably the most important part of the encounter. You have to make sure that he is okay with the experience. His main concern would probably be his privacy. You need to assure him that nobody will find out about what happened to you. Make the conversation light, and try to act normal. It is a big deal for him, but he would probably want to play it safe and keep things on the down low. Be sensitive.


(One can argue that if a guy has sex with another guy, then he can't be "straight." For the purposes of this blog entry, let's not complicate things and just define "straight" as someone who maybe has a girlfriend or a wife. Or a guy who dates women.)

These instructions are obviously not fool proof. The most critical aspect would be your ability to execute flawlessly. It takes guts, and it takes a certain empathy. Your timing needs to be right, and you need to be at the top of your game. It will also help if you are physically compatible.


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8 Signs That a Guy is Hitting On You

by Discreet Serpent

We are all suckers for love. Even when we don't want it, we have a natural tendency to find it. It could be for companionship, for sex, for good conversation. Whatever it may be, we all consciously (or unconsciously) hope to find our soul mate in a random encounter. But what if we miss out on the signs? What if he's been there all along, right in front of us, and we somehow fail to notice that he's interested?

What are the signs that someone is interested in you?

image courtesy of homorazzi.com

1. Social Networking Stalker

If a guy likes you, he will make his presence felt in Facebook or Twitter. He will "like" everything you post, and make cute comments about how awkward you look in a photo or how fun your weekend activity was. He will check all your previous tweets and send you a direct message about how one of your posts affected him directly. He will try to start a conversation with you and chat with you until the wee hours of the morning. He will even talk about common friends that you have, and how it's a small world. He is likely to lure you into asking him to join in on the fun next time.

2. He's on "Protector Mode" all the time

A guy who likes you will have a tendency is to be protective of you even if you don't need protection. It could be a conscious effort to keep you on the "safe side" when you cross the street, or a sudden urge to punch someone who has done you wrong. It could even be a simple request asking people to leave you alone when you become the butt of a joke. If you care about someone, you would want to do anything in your power to keep him from harm. And no, the threat does not have to be real when he goes on "Protector Mode." Chances are, he comes to your defense even when you don't need it at all. And if you like him back, you will find this valiant effort "cute."

3. You are the Target Market
A person who is interested in you will try his best to impress you. He does not care about the people around you; they are all part of the interior decoration for all he cares. One clear cut way of identifying if someone interested in you is to observe how he cracks jokes. A disinterested person would address the crowd like he would in a show. The jokes are likely taken from a page of a funny book. His connection with the crowd is superficial and impersonal. His goal is to make everyone in the group laugh.

Someone interested in you, on the other hand, will focus on you. It's like he's telling you a private joke in your own personal world, without a care for everybody else. The other people in the group might find his jokse corny, but he will try to target YOUR sense of humor and say something that he thinks would make YOU laugh.

image courtesy of reviewsbyjessewave.com

4. He treats you differently 
He could be the biggest jerk when he is with his friends, or a super strict boss to his employees. But when he's with you? He suddenly transforms into the sweetest and most sensitive guy. This boy is trying to get on your good side, and he is putting his best foot forward. He is trying to be someone whom he thinks can win you over. At the same time, you will notice that he is always nervous around you. This is probably because he is afraid to make a blunder that would scare you off. He is trying very hard to impress you, and he ends up a nervous wreck in the process.

5. A series of personal questions
If you are interested in someone, you would want to know everything about him, right? So if this guy likes you, he will start getting personal and ask you detailed questions about your activities. He will ask you about your childhood, your educational background, your work experiences, your favorite hobbies, and even your dog. He will be interested in what you were called as a kid, what you had for breakfast last weekend, and what you wear in your sleep. Some questions may be too personal for you, and this is an indication that you may not have the same interest in him. After all, if you really like him, your life should be an open book.

6. He will ask sex-related questions

If a guy is interested in you, he will definitely want to find out if you are sexually compatible. After all, that's a very important aspect of a relationship. The questions could be awkward, or they can be direct. But essentially, he will want to find out if you're top, bottom, or versatile. He will also be curious about your sexual habits, fetishes, and fantasies. He will want to know where you get your porn, and what kind of positions you have tried in the past. You may think these are conversations brought about by the curiosity of a friend, but think again. There is a big possibility that he is out to find out if you two will click together as a couple (in bed).

image courtesy of wikihow.com

7. You have a lot of things in common

All the questions and conversations would magically lead to one conclusion: the two of you have a lot of things in common! He will agree to almost anything you say. You will hear things like "Oh yeah! I loved that movie! It was the best!" or "I've been to that restaurant but I need to try that dish!" Some of these will be sincere, while the rest will be an act. But this is the most used trick in the book: to capitalize on common interests to bring the relationship to the next level.

8. Invasion of your Personal Space
We learned this in psychology: each person has a "personal space" that he doesn't want to be invaded by anyone. It's different for everyone, but the idea is to stay a safe physical distance from someone to avoid getting into an uncomfortable situation. It could be an arm's length away, or a the length of a hair strand. If your guy doesn't seem to mind your (and his) personal space, then that means that he may be trying to get close to you. He will try to push his boundaries: a touch here and a pat there. These physical moves will escalate into more daring caresses for as long as you allow them.


It is usually flattering if someone shows their interest, and it is your responsibility to either entertain this or to gently turn the person down. Understanding these signs is the first step to building a good relationship with someone. If you are interested, take the leap and don't let the person get away.


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Dating a Bisexual: 6 Things You Should Know 

Dating a Bisexual Guy: 6 Things to Know

by Discreet Serpent

Bisexual guys are an enigma to most people, gay guys in particular. We only understand our own experiences, and cling to the notion that anything beyond what we know must be myth. We dismiss bisexuality as a "phase" or a "shield" that closeted gay guys use to protect their privacy. Truth be told, there is a lot of confusion about it even in the LGBT community. As such, a lot of gay relationships involving bisexual guys end up doomed.

What we should understand, however, is that these relationships mostly end up in failure because of pre-conceived notions that should be corrected. Here are some essential things that every gay guy needs to know before dating a bisexual guy:

image courtesy of scienceofrelationships.com

1. They are not "in transition"
A lot of gay guys used the term "bisexual" to define themselves when they started out experimenting with other guys. Being a bisexual was seen as "cool" and was an attractive "quality" that drew other men to hooking up with them. As time progresses, these "bisexuals" gradually come out and fully embrace their identity as gay guys. This kind of experience led many gay guys to believe that bisexuality is a "transition" or a "stepping stone" towards full homosexuality.

Bisexuality, however, does exist. This is a hard fact for some gay guys to swallow, but we can not rule out something just because it is contrary to our own personal experiences. Different people deal with their identity issues in different ways. Some guys like both guys and girls. Deal with it. Learn to accept it. And don't let this get in the way of your relationship.

2. Don't force him out of the closet
Bisexuals have a lot of issues to deal with personally, and they should be given enough space to deal with these issues on their own. Society seems to understand homosexuals a lot more than bisexuals, and this social stigma keeps a lot of bisexuals hidden in the closet. Forcing your bisexual partner to come out in any way will only jeopardize your relationship. Just accept him for who he is and leave him alone with his issues. He will ask for your help when he is ready.

3. Communication is key
You should not let your differences affect the way you talk to each other. As much as possible, try to learn about each other and how you are dealing with your sexual orientation. Express your feelings and be open about things that could affect your relationship. On the other hand, avoid going overboard and over-discussing things that are best left unsaid. It gets really old, for instance, if you keep on asking him to explain each and every time he looks at a girl. You don't want your entire relationship to be full of discussions about bisexuality and homosexuality. There are a lot of other things to talk about.

image courtesy of slate.com

4. They are not (necessarily) promiscuous

Another popular misconception: bisexuals like men and women, and they have a much wider choice of sexual partners than anyone else. As such, they must be having sex all the time.

Just because bisexual guys have more options than the rest of us doesn't necessarily mean that they are slutty or that they sleep around a lot. Bisexuality does not equate to polygamy. And besides, don't they say the same thing about gay guys? In reality, a person's sexual orientation does not dictate his sexual appetite. Sleeping around or cheating is actually a result of a person's character. 

5. Don't get jealous

Jealousy is a relationship killer. If you are in a relationship with a gay guy, you may have a tendency to get jealous everytime he talks to another guy. Imagine how it would be like to date a bisexual guy. You could go crazy because no matter where he goes, and no matter who he talks to, you are not safe!

Try not to get too jealous, my friend. If you do, it could spell the end of your relationship (and quite possibly your sanity). Jealousy creates paranoia, and can lead you to believe things that are not necessarily there. Your relationship needs to be based on trust. Don't accuse him of anything unless you have undeniable proof worthy of being presented as evidence in court. 

6. People will ask; Be ready
When your friends find out about your bisexual partner, they will surely ask a lot of questions. They are likely to bring up different misconceptions that they have, and try to convince you to find somebody else. They will ask for sordid details, and question you about your readiness to "compete" with both men and women. Take this as an opportunity to explain things and to make people understand how things really work. Maybe, just maybe, you will end up helping the fight against ignorance and discrimination in your own little way.


We all have our personal struggles, and the bisexual community has its own share of problems and concerns. Just like homosexuals, they need to be freed from stereotype and pre-conceived notions. A relationship between a gay guy and a bisexual guy will not be a walk in the park. However, as long as there is mutual love and respect it should be able to withstand the test of time.


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7 Things You Should Stop Saying on Grindr

by Discreet Serpent

Let's face it. For most gay guys, apps like Grindr are there for one purpose and one purpose only: to get laid (in the soonest possible time). Sure, some guys are there simply for the pleasure of having great (but short) conversations with random strangers. But almost everyone is out there to explore the possibility of meeting someone and getting him to bed.

image courtesy of concourse.io

That is not to say, however, that we should act like we are looking at a fast food menu. We can't just pick guys that we are interested in, send a message, and expect to instantly take them home. Most people would still prefer to have some sort of a connection before actually hitting the sack with somebody else (no matter how minuscule that connection may be). No matter how primal our sexual urges may be, we should still show some decency.

As such, here are 7 things I think gay guys should stop saying on Grindr:

1. "Straight here."
Yeah. Right. Come on man, who the hell are you kidding? For the record, "straight" is not the same as "bisexual" or "discreet gay" or "masculine."

2. "I think we're soul mates. Let me tell you all about me."

It's nice to have good conversations on Grindr. It sets up the mood, and could potentially be an opening to a good friendship or personal relationship. But the fact remains that most people using this app are looking for a hookup, and there's nothing like a sappy story (or ten) to ruin the moment. As much as possible, refrain from talking about how your ex boyfriend broke your heart, how you can totally relate to the characters of the movie "The Notebook," or how you picture your wedding day to be like. These conversations are better done in person, so you might as well set up a date, meet up in a coffee shop, and talk about life until dawn. (Note: some people may be up for a chat conversation like this. If you find someone like this, then good for you.)

image courtesy of tsvetno.blogspot.com

3. "No Blacks/Asians/Chubs/Short Guys/Loud/Etc"
Everyone has their own preferences, and I'm sure that we all have our limitations in what type of guy we want to sleep with. Saying it out loud, however, makes it sound really racist and discriminatory. No matter how cute you are, you will come off as arrogant and insensitive. A good chunk of the population (quite possibly the decent or sensible ones) will want nothing to do with you. Here's something you can try: respond back and politely end the conversation quickly. Or you can focus on writing the things that you do want in a guy: "Looking for tall, discreet guys who know how to sing and dance."

4. "Looking?" (followed by nude photos)
Talk about going straight to the point. While some people may find that kind of thing kinky, I still believe that guys want to be teased a little bit. Teasing excites the imagination and intensifies the urge to fornicate. Going straight for the kill will make you look desperate. It can also portray an image of perversion, and leave people thinking that you have slept around numerous times (possibly spreading or contracting a disease in the process.)

5. "Sorry, you're not my type. But goodluck"

Please. Have a heart. I'm sure not everybody has your smoking hot body and your angelic good looks, but that doesn't mean you can start a bitch party and just run everyone over with your hurtful words. Even the most attractive people will feel ugly or insecure if you say these kinds of things to them. Rejection is not a very good thing to feel, so it should be done with a little sensitivity. You can opt not to respond to the message if you are not interested. Or you can just say that you have to do something and end the conversation.

6. "99 years old"
If this were true, then dude, you are too old for Grindr. Unless you're the vampire Lestat or something. I mean, what does this even mean? Why put an obviously fake number on your profile? Why not just lie about it like normal people do? Or why not just leave it blank? You can do that, you know.

image courtesy of ohmygrindr.com

7.  Sending multiple messages to a guy who doesn't respond

Take a hint. He is not interested. So stop wasting your time, direct your energy someplace else. If he is remotely into you, he probably won't skip a beat and message you incessantly.

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