Originally posted on August 3, 2014
I love straight men, or as some people would say, "straight" men. They are adventurous, inquisitive, and surprisingly easy to please. Because they are in unfamiliar territory, they are nervous yet willing to learn. And they smell really, really nice. Yes, I am talking about being in bed with them.
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| Image courtesy of: cheezburger.com |
Good Conversations
Like any normal "courtships," getting your guy comfortable is the key to everything. It is particularly tricky for discreet gay guys because there is a certain amount of deceit going on. Unlike porn movie scenes, you can't just bring a straight guy to a room, grab his crotch, and expect fireworks. You will probably end up with a black eye that way (although it could work for certain people). Get to know him. Gain his trust. Learn his weaknesses. Be his best friend. Listen to him.
Flirting and Joking Around
Once you become buddies, it would be easier to start flirting. With subtlety, of course. You need to test the waters and see how he responds to your advances. Start with the simple "hope you had a great day" message, and inject messages like "I was thinking about you earlier" and "I wish you were here to help me with this project." It would really depend on your personality and on how you think your guy friend would receive your advances. If he responds positively, then you can slowly proceed to "I miss you." For most guys, messages with sexual innuendos work best. It's all done in the spirit of fun, so you are likely to get away with these messages unscathed.
Get Him Drunk
Straight guys think that being drunk is an excuse for doing anything crazy. If they are under the influence of alcohol, everything is excusable. They can do something that they would "never do" and blame it on the alcohol. You, my gay friend, can use this to your advantage. Invite him over to your place, grab a few beers, and drink the night away. This will help set the mood. Just be careful not to make him drink too much, or he will just pass out on your couch.
Set the Mood
One word. Porn. Straight porn, of course.
Ask Him Questions
"What was the best blowjob you ever got?" "When was the last time you had sex?" "What was the most adventurous encounter you ever had?" Share your own experiences, and inject some gay related statements like "I heard guys give the best blowjobs because they have penises and they know what's most pleasurable."
Test The Waters
Put your arm on his shoulders and let it stay there. Or let your hand linger on his thigh longer than it should. Simple gestures that could mean nothing, but could be an indicator of his willingness to go all the way. If he smiles or just let you do what you are doing, then you can proceed with having your head on his lap or his shoulder. He will start to breathe heavy, an indication that he has an idea about what's going to happen. Make sure he relaxes. Offer him more beer. Better yet, offer to give him a massage (this ALWAYS works).
Rebuttal Statements
In some cases, there will be resistance. Your best argument: "We are both guys. We won't lose anything if we fool around." This is actually an asinine argument, but guys really believe that if they lose nothing, then it will be alright. You can't get pregnant. You won't be clingy. And you will be discreet about it. After all, nobody CAN know about your encounter. It will be embarrassing! (wink wink).
Performance Level
Once you're in, you have to give the performance of your life. Make it worth his time. Make him realize that the best experiences can be given by another man. Be adventurous and make sure you exceed his expectations. Learn about his best sexual encounter and make sure to top it! After all, you may want to go for seconds.
The Aftermath
This is probably the most important part of the encounter. You have to make sure that he is okay with the experience. His main concern would probably be his privacy. You need to assure him that nobody will find out about what happened to you. Make the conversation light, and try to act normal. It is a big deal for him, but he would probably want to play it safe and keep things on the down low. Be sensitive.
(One can argue that if a guy has sex with another guy, then he can't be "straight." For the purposes of this blog entry, let's not complicate things and just define "straight" as someone who maybe has a girlfriend or a wife. Or a guy who dates women.)
These instructions are obviously not fool proof. The most critical aspect would be your ability to execute flawlessly. It takes guts, and it takes a certain empathy. Your timing needs to be right, and you need to be at the top of your game. It will also help if you are physically compatible.
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