After several months of dating you and your boyfriend decide to call it quits. Irreconcilable differences, as you put it. You try to move on with your life, consider (casually) dating other people, and try to make sense of new path that's right in front of you. Just as you're starting to get your groove back, you start noticing the presence of your ex. He seems to be everywhere, seemingly forgetting the painful experience that you both went through. Could he be there because he wants you back? Or is it his way of making it clear that he has already moved on?
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1. He talks about you and your relationship
Your friends will tell you that your ex asks about your whereabouts a lot. He is curious about how you are coping after the breakup and what steps you have taken to get over the pain. He will try to find out what activities you have been up to and if you are seeing new guys. He will casually ask common friends questions about you in the hopes of finding out that you still want him back.
He will cling to your old memories and dwell on the happy times. When he's with his friends he will slowly drift away from the conversation and inject topics that are related to you: how you travelled to Europe that one time, how you spend hours on the phone talking about nothing and everything, or how you love to pig out at your favorite restaurant. It will be obvious that he does not want to let go of what you had, and has high hopes to regain what was lost.
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2. He will try to contact you
Every break up should have a "no contact rule," a time frame where both parties are not allowed to communicate with each other. It is during this time that you will discover that you can move on with your lives without the other person. Usually, this would run about 30 days.
If your ex tries to contact you within days or weeks after the big break up, then something is definitely up. This could be a "random" text message saying "good morning," or a simple comment to the photo you posted on Facebook. And be warned about the "drunk dialing" (while it may sound fun, it can only mean that strong feelings are still at play).
The gesture is simple, but the effects could be epic (or disastrous, depending on how you look at it). People who break up normally don't talk to each other unless they need to work together or meet up for the divorce settlement. If your ex tries to contact you, it means that he wants to keep the communication lines open. It means that he is trying to find the best way to get through your defenses.
3. He will be a "changed man"
Your relationship ended for a reason, and it is likely for behaviors that can be attributed to the both of you. If you ex is trying to get you back, he will make an effort to fix his mistakes and make it up to you. He will try to talk about the errors of his way and discuss how things would be different moving forwards. If he used to act violently, he will show a tender side that you haven't seen since you were first dating. If you caught him cheating, he will prove to you that he regrets everything by showing you his message inbox and his deleted dating apps. He will try to fix whatever caused your breakup and "forgive" you for your contribution in the matter.
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4. You will "accidentally" run into him all the time
You see him everywhere. You feel his presence all the time. You will think it's serendipity, you will think it's fate that's pulling you back together. I mean, what are the chances that you end up being in the same bus or the same movie theater, right?
Destiny aside, you are probably running into your ex a lot because he is trying his best to find ways to run into you. He probably collaborates with your best friend, finding out everything he can about your daily schedules. He likely stalks you day in and day out, trying to figure out a "subtle" way to cross paths. He obviously knows how your mind works and how you normally spend your day, so getting into your head won't be that difficult. He wants you back bad enough that he is willing to become a creepy stalker just to be on your good side.
5. He is extra sweet and extra caring
He will ask you out on "friendly" dates once in a while, and put his best foot forward in the process. He will show you a "tender" and loving side that you probably haven't seen before. He will be extra romantic, bringing you presents and taking you to your favorite places. And yes, he will ignore the fact that he hates the opera or detests Japanese food. Just so you're happy.
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