What do they say about exes? That
they are like burglars in the night who can come anytime and steal from you
when you least suspect it? Or maybe it’s the other way around, and exes are
locked in the past where they belong? This is one of my favorite points of
discussion when I am out drinking with my buddies. This usually comes up when
one of them starts dating and I know that his ex is just a text message away.
Will
you ever trust your boyfriend with his ex? Do the feelings and physical
attraction ever get lost, or are they bound to something crazy if left alone?
Are you friends with your exes (and remained platonic)? Have you cheated with
an ex boyfriend?
Trust
is key
“Hello.
First let me congratulate you for your blog. I hope this blog can bring the
right advice to its followers. Now, regarding your questions. Yes, we ought to
trust our boyfriend. Three basic requirements when having a boyfriend: love,
respect, and (most important is) trust. Partners should really take good care
of the trust that was handed over to them. It’s our way of showing our partner
that we really care about him.”
***Tyron***
“Yes.
Past is past. And I’m sure he’ll never cheat on me with his ex. Trust is the
key my dear.”
***MingoholicYani***
“Yes
to all questions.”
***@OhMarcusG***
“ I
see nothing wrong with being friends with your exes, especially if you ended
your past relationship gracefully. So I wouldn’t mind if my boyfriend now would
want to catch up with his ex/exes. No insecurities. Feelings and physical
attraction shouldn’t be there already because they ended the relationship in
the first place.”
***Neostigmine***
I
can’t relate
“My
dear, I don’t even try to have Filipino boyfriend and as of now I’m committed with
my German boyfriend. An I never indulge with his friends, that’s why I can’t
say anything about your questions.”
***Denz,
Iloilo***
“No
boyfriend since birth here. No idea about it.”
***(peace
sign)***
“I
haven’t been in a relationship ever.”
***TunayNaPagibig***
Leave
my boyfriend alone!
“Will I ever trust my boyfriend with
his ex? Definitely not!! Because for me an ex is an ex and there will be a
tendency that if you leave them alone together it will definitely bring back
the good times they shared together. I won’t ever let that happen. Once a
relationship ends it must stop there. Let your boyfriend cherish your moments
together…”
***THIS IS THE END***
“Physical attraction will still be
there, based on my own experience.”
***proteinshake***
“Boys will be boys. For sure, there
will still be physical attraction. Remember, guys always think about sex. It’s
in our nature. There is a big chance of something happening that will trigger
or rekindle the special feelings that they had before. And BOOM. Complication
comes in. Conflict with the current boyfriend. Separation because he will want
to go back to his ex. Break up. Exes shouldn’t meet with their former partners
not only as respect to the current relationship but also for self respect. “
***Rp***
I
still hook up with my exes
“No, I would never trust him with his
ex ever! I trust my boyfriend but not his ex. Call me paranoid but it’s better
to be safe than sorry. I’m friends with most of my exes but never remained
platonic with three of them. I never had sex with any of them when I’m in a
relationship, but when I’m single I still hook up with either of them
especially during “dry seasons” lol.”
***BC***
“I’m friends with all my exes and I am
sure if I see them or if we are left alone in a room, something will happen. I
think that whatever happens, our exes will always have a special place in our
heart. Especially in my case because all my breakups were civil.”
***Helvetica***
On
being friends with your exes
“It takes time before exes can become
friends. It will depend on whether they are stable with their current
relationships and if this relationship has withstood the test of time.”
***Rp***
“You can never really tell, I can only
speak for myself. No I won’t, coz when it’s over it’s over. And yes, I’m
friends with my exes.”
***Brave1***
“If two lovers remain friends it’s
either they still love each other or they never really loved each other at all.
For most cases, it’s because they still have feelings for each other.”
***Ghe***
“I am friends with my ex. It was
around November 2012 when we started having problems as a couple. Because of
pride, we started ignoring each other in school after we broke up. Time went on
and it became “normal” for us not to talk to each other even if we see each
other in class. We graduated and didn’t see each other for a long time. Until
one time, we had the initiative to check out on each other and just talk about
the past (among other things). We ended up deciding to be friends and just
forget about what happened. We are good friends now and I even know his
girlfriend.”
***Charles***
At
the end of the day
I don’t think there’s a right or wrong
answer on this one. Trust him, don’t trust him, it’s really up to you. And it
will also be up to your boyfriend if he takes this with a grain of salt, find
it cute, or take it against you.
This should really begin with an
internal reflection. Do YOU trust yourself with your ex? Is there a shred of
emotion or passion left, enough to spark into heated affair if given the
chance? Will YOU have the will power to turn your back from an unwanted
situation? If you don’t trust yourself with your ex, then chances are, you
won’t trust your partner with his ex either.
The next issue would be regarding your
perception of your partner. Is he the type of person who would succumb to
temptation easily? Does he have lingering feelings for his ex? Is he the type
to cheat? Your partner is the main focus of the issue, and you should be able
to trust him to remain faithful to you even if he is left alone with his ex.
Finally, the ex should also be given a
little credit. Does he go out of his way to connect with your partner? Is he
all over him, all the time? If he is the type of person who likes to get what
he wants regardless of the limitations, then you are better off not trusting
him.
Trust is key. You should be able to
trust your partner not to do anything stupid. But at the same time, you should
not leave anything to chance. It is better to nip this from the bud and stop
anything from happening in the first place. This is a delicate conversation to
have, and you should try your best not to sound like you don’t trust your
partner (because that will spell trouble for your relationship). Even if at the
end of the day, this IS a trust issue.
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