Let's face it. For most gay guys, apps like Grindr are there for one purpose and one purpose only: to get laid (in the soonest possible time). Sure, some guys are there simply for the pleasure of having great (but short) conversations with random strangers. But almost everyone is out there to explore the possibility of meeting someone and getting him to bed.
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| image courtesy of concourse.io |
As such, here are 7 things I think gay guys should stop saying on Grindr:
1. "Straight here."
Yeah. Right. Come on man, who the hell are you kidding? For the record, "straight" is not the same as "bisexual" or "discreet gay" or "masculine."
2. "I think we're soul mates. Let me tell you all about me."
It's nice to have good conversations on Grindr. It sets up the mood, and could potentially be an opening to a good friendship or personal relationship. But the fact remains that most people using this app are looking for a hookup, and there's nothing like a sappy story (or ten) to ruin the moment. As much as possible, refrain from talking about how your ex boyfriend broke your heart, how you can totally relate to the characters of the movie "The Notebook," or how you picture your wedding day to be like. These conversations are better done in person, so you might as well set up a date, meet up in a coffee shop, and talk about life until dawn. (Note: some people may be up for a chat conversation like this. If you find someone like this, then good for you.)
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| image courtesy of tsvetno.blogspot.com |
Everyone has their own preferences, and I'm sure that we all have our limitations in what type of guy we want to sleep with. Saying it out loud, however, makes it sound really racist and discriminatory. No matter how cute you are, you will come off as arrogant and insensitive. A good chunk of the population (quite possibly the decent or sensible ones) will want nothing to do with you. Here's something you can try: respond back and politely end the conversation quickly. Or you can focus on writing the things that you do want in a guy: "Looking for tall, discreet guys who know how to sing and dance."
4. "Looking?" (followed by nude photos)
Talk about going straight to the point. While some people may find that kind of thing kinky, I still believe that guys want to be teased a little bit. Teasing excites the imagination and intensifies the urge to fornicate. Going straight for the kill will make you look desperate. It can also portray an image of perversion, and leave people thinking that you have slept around numerous times (possibly spreading or contracting a disease in the process.)
5. "Sorry, you're not my type. But goodluck"
Please. Have a heart. I'm sure not everybody has your smoking hot body and your angelic good looks, but that doesn't mean you can start a bitch party and just run everyone over with your hurtful words. Even the most attractive people will feel ugly or insecure if you say these kinds of things to them. Rejection is not a very good thing to feel, so it should be done with a little sensitivity. You can opt not to respond to the message if you are not interested. Or you can just say that you have to do something and end the conversation.
6. "99 years old"
If this were true, then dude, you are too old for Grindr. Unless you're the vampire Lestat or something. I mean, what does this even mean? Why put an obviously fake number on your profile? Why not just lie about it like normal people do? Or why not just leave it blank? You can do that, you know.
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| image courtesy of ohmygrindr.com |
7. Sending multiple messages to a guy who doesn't respond
Take a hint. He is not interested. So stop wasting your time, direct your energy someplace else. If he is remotely into you, he probably won't skip a beat and message you incessantly.
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