I love chatting with people,
strangers or otherwise. Anonymity aside, it allows me to connect with people
from different walks of life and gain insight from their experiences. Lately,
I’ve been using the chat sites to gather information about certain topics that
I want to write about. I do get a lot of substantial responses, but also some
interesting propositions from guys who are obviously in it for sexual
gratification.
I’m pretty sure that I (with my
scholarly pursuits) am an exception to the general rule. But this made me
wonder: Is it possible to find lifelong friends or long term relationships in
gay chat sites like Grindr or Hornet, or are these apps purely for hooking up?
You
can definitely find your soul mate here
“It’s absolutely possible. The guys
here are not necessarily doomed. You just have to find the right person at the
right place and at the right time.”
***Born to Beat***
“It’s possible but very rare. As in
VERY rare haha. Maybe 15% of 100? Based on experience…”
***@Joshtannnnn***
“Possible.”
***Altitude, 31***
"I think so. As the saying goes, love is just in a corner. Gay websites may be a place for hook ups but I believe there are still people who look for love. Real love for serious relationships. Just like me."
***Mark***
"I think so. As the saying goes, love is just in a corner. Gay websites may be a place for hook ups but I believe there are still people who look for love. Real love for serious relationships. Just like me."
***Mark***
You
have to defy the odds, but you just may find it
“It’s possible as I found both my
long terms relationships on sites like Grindr. But based on our experience, you
have to weed through thick vegetation to find it. “
***MPowered***
“You can still find lifelong
friendships and relationships but it will be hard. Needs a lot of patience. But
most of the gay guys using these apps are mainly looking for hookups.”
***RR, 27***
“It doesn’t matter where you meet the
guy… be it via an app or the street or a chat room…If you find him, you find
him. Technology just made it easy to meet people. But with or without
technology, it’s difficult to find the right man for a lot of reasons.”
***bud, 37***
“Grindr was made as a gaydar to
locate nearby geighs. It is mainly for hookups. But I do believe in miracles…”
***@karakochaka***
You
can find someone, but they might not last long
“Yes, it’s possible. I met two of my
latest exes from Grindr. But I wouldn’t call it long term. Ex number 3 from
Batangas was almost one year, and ex number 4 from Quezon City had issues with
me being online on the app. I was open to having other guys on the side but my
partner wasn’t because he was older and a bit serious. His best friend caught
me using the app with “open relationship” as a status without his consent. Thus
we broke up after 4 months.
***#SwagLove, 27***
“Yes, but not for me. Lol!”
***Sailormoon, 26***
It’s
a character issue, not a technology issue
“It depends on the personality of the
person you are chatting with but in my opinion, it’s very rare especially in
our case as homosexuals.”
***Engt.M, 20***
“It depends on who you ask and what it
is that they are looking for when they joined. I don’t really have personal
experience yet as I consider myself a Grindr Virgin (I only created my account
recently), but as for me, when I joined, I just wanted to see what it’s like in
here and I hope to meet new friends along the way.”
***Chubby Whale, 29***
“For me I think it depends on your
intention and how you project yourself.”
***naughty***
No
way, you’re better off at the mall
“No, it isn’t. I found a partner in
Planet Romeo but our relationship didn’t last. I left him. All we did was have
sex and I didn’t feel that I was important to him in other aspects.”
***Versace, 23***
“60-70 percent of the population using
this app have it for hookup purposes. The rest of the population uses it hoping
to find long term relationships/friendships, but even this population sometimes
find themselves in a situation which turns out to be just a hookup.”
***SmileyFace, 30***
“For hook up. Coz you can really find
hot, stud and horny guys here in Grindr. Safe sex is always a must.”
***Jagger***
“No. Meeting feeling here is
superficial. Only for hook ups. No serious romantic relationships. But I must
say that based on experience, most people I’ve met here initially would go for
sex. The following meetings would be more open and contain honest
conversations. Eventually, we turned out as friends/acquaintances. People who
get into relationships here will eventually feel that their partners could be
playing behind their backs (maybe through this app or other means).
***Anonymous***
“What counts as long term for you? 1
year? Well the people you’d talk to who say they were in a 1-year relationship
would have broken up with their partners already coz they’re looking again in
Grindr.”
***Jerod***
So what now?
From the looks of it, most of
the guys using chat apps are pessimistic about finding true love thru that
channel. This probably stems from the fact that they know their intentions
coming into these apps, and would not want to date people who are similarly
inclined. It would be very stressful, after all, to think about the possibility
of your partner hooking up via Grindr or Hornet behind your back. That would be
enough to break a budding relationship apart.
There are, however, optimists
who think that true love can still be found in the midst of temptation. Just
find the right person at the right time, they say. People change and can stop
looking once they find their soul mate, they claim.
I used to be a chronic chatter,
for all the wrong (or right?) reasons
too. Without trying to sound like a slut, I pretty much slept with most of the
people I met up with. (That was when I
was single, of course. But that’s not the point of this entry). But I also
met one of my best friends in a chat room. We were super wholesome (it bored me at the start, but I got over it)
and talked mostly about comic books, work, and staying in the closet. We have
been friends for a long time, and that’s why I think there are still “quality”
people out there. Just waiting to be discovered.
My thoughts on the issue? I do
believe that you can find friendships and relationships in the weirdest of
places. You just got to have an open mind about it.
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