BidVertiser

Friday, August 1, 2014

Does Bisexuality Exist?

by Discreet Serpent

There's a lot of confusion with the term "bisexuality" even in the LGBT community. What does it mean? Does it even exist? Is it just something that gay people use to justify their behavior? The dictionary defines the word BISEXUAL as "a person who is sexually attracted to both men and women." Pretty straightforward. But why the confusion?



"A bisexual person has an affair with a man and a woman at the same time..."
I actually have a friend who thought that being bisexual meant having a sexual affair with a man and a woman at the same time. Like having a wife and a guy lover on the side. She's a bit clueless about the world so I just laughed at her limited understanding (I did explain things to her afterwards, so imagine her embarrassment). Admittedly, she said that her knowledge of human sexuality is limited to what the bible says (notwithstanding the fact that she has me as a best friend). She was raised that way, and had limited exposure to the world.

"Bisexuality is a stepping stone to being gay..."
This is a common misconception in the gay world. I have a lot of friends who used to claim they were bisexual before "transitioning" to full gayhood. This usually happens at the awkward stage where they get a girlfriend to avoid ridicule from friends and family members. Others claim that they just pretended to be bi because it sounded way cooler than being gay, as if being gay is something that they should be ashamed of. Once they come out, they believe with absolute certainty (and even preach to the world) that those who claim to be bi now will end up being 100% gay in the near future.

"If you have sex with a guy, you must be gay..."
I've had this conversation with friends (mostly women) in the past. "OMG, I heard Marissa's dad had sex with the driver. Who knew he was gay?" "Mr. Santos got drunk and slept with the gay slut Brent. He's gay!!" "If you even entertain the thought of having a guy touch you inappropriately, then you must be gay..." Honestly, I got tired of explaining things at some point. So yeah, my brother held hands with another guy at church, he must be gay!

"I like being friends with men and women, too. I'm bisexual."
There was this young girl talking to a guy. Guy comes out and tells her he's bisexual. What's that, she asked. A bisexual person likes being with boys and girls, he explains. "Ohhh... I like hanging out with both guys and girls. I'm bisexual. What's the big deal?" This, on national freakin television. What an adorable conversation.

"I look like a guy, act like a guy, talk like a guy, but like men. I'm bisexual."
We have all heard this before, haven't we?

I'm no expert, but here's what I think. First, I do believe that love knows no gender. Most people like one type of person (guys or girls). But there are also people who like to go both ways. I myself used to be bisexual. At this point in time, I only say I'm gay because I haven't been with a woman for a long, long time. Do I get attracted to them? Sure, but my standards for women are waaaay higher than my standards for men. You need to look like a supermodel before I would even consider going to bed with you. For men? Not so much. In a perfect world (where discrimination does not exist), a person (man or woman) gets to choose someone to love because of who they are and not what they are.

I also believe that our understanding of the term "bisexual" may be limited by our personal experiences. This is where the confusion arises. Most people understand the word based on how it was explained to them, how they experienced it, or how they were taught as kids. I don't think this will be cleared up by a simple blog or even by media in the next couple of years. Hopefully, we will get there sooner rather than later.

Image courtesy of www.thebacklot.com

No comments:

Post a Comment

Bidvertiser

Chitika