The Different Faces on Grindr (And Other Gay Social Apps)

by Discreet Serpent

It’s always fun to browse through profiles in Gay Apps like Grindr, Hornet and Bender. Different photos, different personalities, different objectives. Some are nice to look at, some are downright irritating. Some accurately reflect the user’s personality, while the others seem to be exaggerated or even hypocritical. What I did notice, however, is that most of these profile photos fall under similar categories.

Let’s explore the different types of profile pics that you will see in the gay social networking world.

1. The Body Part

There seems to be a whole lot of body parts posted in these apps. “The Body Part” typically showcases a well-sculpted tummy or a flat stomach brought about by weeks of self-starvation or a high metabolism rate. The owners are typically guys who frequent the gym or have occupations that require heavy manual labor. These shots are normally taken inside a gym, a locker room, or the beach, and are usually after exercise or a shower.

These guys probably get a lot of hits, but they normally look for guys who also take care of their bodies. They usually prefer “manly” guys who have abs of steel. “Chubs and effems go away.” Thank the heavens for pornographic restrictions, we see more torsos and biceps instead of penises.

2. The Nature Lover

Next in line would be the “Nature Lover,” or someone who posts pictures of the beach, the sky, the mountains, flowers, and wildlife. These shots are enough to get you disoriented and wonder if you are looking at the National Geographic website.

A lot of times, the “Nature Lover” is someone who loves to travel or is out of town on vacation or business. The profile would disclose that the guy is “on vacation” for a few days, and has limited time for hook ups (so hurry up!). They just want to maximize their stay in this island paradise and top their once in a lifetime experience with a conquest or five. They are obviously not out for a “serious relationship” and are using the app “just for fun.”

3. The Poser

You check out Grindr and notice that Ryan Gosling is just 50 feet away from your location. Ryan f+&@#g Gosling. This guy is obviously a poser, or someone who uses somebody else’s picture (trying to pass off as them). They typically don’t use a big celebrity’s shot but use a the photo of a really cute (straight) innocent guy. Or maybe someone whom they are trying to discredit. 

Posers are the often the target of the ire of the social networking world. They gain no respect because they are not who they say they are. There is a big probability that they have low self esteem. And they obviously have all the time in the world if they can spend hours living somebody else’s (online) life.

Posers, because of their anonymity, are often the ones who attack people online. They troll the social networking sites of celebrities and take shots at them any opportunity they have. Some of them even go as far as committing online fraud, at the expense of unsuspecting users.

4. The Cartoon Character

The “Cartoon Character” is the guy who uses comic book characters or emoticons as their profile picture. They typically use their favorite hero or an avatar that they share physical similarities with.

image courtesy of marvel.com

These guys exude an aura of wholesomeness (these are mostly kiddie characters, after all) and discretion. They do not usually share their actual photos unless they are sure that they can trust the person they are chatting with. Most of the time, they just chat or talk over the phone. On the rare occasions that they agree to a meet up, they don’t send “preview photos” and just wait for the face to face introduction.

5. The Bedroom Look

We’ve all seen the gents with the “Bedroom Look” photo. These are shots seemingly taken as soon as they wake up, or right before they go to bed at night. Usually, topless shots. Typically, with a dark background.

image courtesy of carisroane.com

This photo screams sex. “Join me in bed,” it seems to be saying. Nope, I don’t want us to be friends. NSA fun is fine, thank you very much.

6. The Wacky Face

Duck face, distorted face, and tongue twists. These are but examples of the facial expressions that make a “funny” photo. There seems to be a culture that considers these photos as cute. And it certainly works for a certain segment, I think.

courtesy of elitedaily.com

Whenever I see a wacky face shot, I think about what a friend once told me. If you look good, smile. If you are ugly, do a wacky face to hide the ugliness.

7. The Grad Pic

And then, there’s the “Grad Pic.” The face photo so perfect it deserves a slot in a yearbook or a magazine cover. Enough time was spent to edit out the facial blemishes and to make the hues and colors just right.

These users are confident in their own skins, and have no issues about their sexuality. They also expect people to man up and share their own photos. Otherwise, they won’t be given the time of day.

So which one are you? Do you agree or disagree with these classifications?


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