Should Gay Couples Be Allowed To Legally Adopt Children?

by Discreet Serpent

image courtesy of www.west-info.eu

At some point in a gay couple's relationship the question of raising children will come into play. Will it be a good idea to have children? Are they financially and emotionally prepared for this next step? How will their friends and family members react to this news? What kind of home will they be able to provide to these kids? Will it be difficult to process the adoption papers and requirements? Is adoption by gay couples legal in our location?

With these questions in mind, I asked random gay respondents this question: "Do you think that gay couples should be allowed to legally adopt children? Will this have a positive or negative impact on the development of the kids?"

The general consensus: It is about time that gay couples are allowed to legally adopt. Raising children to become good citizens does not depend on the parents' sexual preference. Good people raise good children; bad people raise bad children. At least, generally speaking. 

In my country, gay marriage is not legal and there isn't even a good domestic partnership law enforced. Gay people are considered as individual citizens who are not entitled to community property or even reduced taxation (resulting from marriage). As such, legally adopting as a couple is not even an option.

There are ways to circumvent these limitations, of course. I know of some couples who adopt children individually but raise them collectively. One parent legally adopts, and the other simply takes on the role. In the eyes of the law, however, only the legal adoptive parent (the one whose name is written in the adoption papers) has legal custody and rights. 

Legalizing gay marriage and adoption, at least in my country, may take a while to happen. While there is a growing tolerance for diversity, people are still very sensitive about certain things, religion and family being at the top of the list. The society sees homosexuality as a deviance, and is therefore concerned about how gay parents would affect the emotional and spiritual growth of children.

The real question, it would seem, is how being raised by gay parents would affect a child's overall development. 

I am not a psychologist, nor am I an expert in this matter. All I have is experience and an informed opinion formed by years of observation. And my readers' reactions. I believe that having homosexual parents do not have a negative effect on the kids, per se. As long as the child is raised in a protective and loving family, he or she should be alright.

The challenge would be in how the rest of the world accepts this scenario. Parents will not be able to shelter their kids all the time, and there is a huge possibility of them getting bullied in school because of their situation. Adults at church may look at them differently because of their background. Social media is another beast when it comes to these things. The child could be left vulnerable and scarred for life.

Special care should be given to these children. It may sound discriminatory and it may sound condescending, but this is a reality. Children raised by gay couples should constantly be given guidance by their parents (and maybe other adult role models). They need to fully understand their situation, and be made aware of how lucky they are to have a loving and supportive family. They need to be prepared for the inevitable bullying, and to know how to handle those kinds of situations. They need to accept who they are and who their parents are so that no amount of ridicule can make them feel ashamed. These things, I think, need to happen until gay adoption becomes a norm.

In some parts of the world, gay adoption has become widely accepted. Thanks to gay couples who were brave enough to revolutionize change. It was challenging at the start, but we now see how gay couples were able to raise commendable citizens. I would dare say that this difference probably even made them stronger and better members of the society. A good example would be Zach Wahls, whose speech made waves in the Iowa House of Representatives back in 2011. 

Change is inevitable, and it can be good. We just need to keep an open mind about it. And we need to start somewhere and continue moving in the right direction.


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