Discreet Guys Who Don't Give Out Their Face Pics

by Discreet Serpent

I enjoy chatting with people, and this blog has given me the opportunity to converse with more people than I can handle. I don't use a half naked photo or a super cute smiling face as my profile pic, but somehow I sparked the interest and attention of these guys because of the things I have posted on this blog. Some find it refreshing to have decent conversations where they are used to finding sexual innuendos and propositions (not that these things are bad things). Others are curious about the face behind the blog.

image courtesy of coolvibe.com

About 50% of the time, I get asked for my face pic. This is despite the fact that my profile specifically states that I do NOT give out my photo in social media. I politely decline, nonetheless, and inform them (with a smile) that I do not share my pic. Some take the response graciously and continue the conversation. Others return the favor and politely end the chat session. A small percentage, however, become downright disrespectful. Like I owe them a favor or something.

One such chatter sent a barrage of messages calling me out for being a coward. As a blogger, I need to be courageous enough to show my face to the world, he said. He doesn't want to waste his time chatting with a "cartoon character" (I have Gambit as my profile pic) and would rather talk to a "real person," he explained. He called me unfair because I didn't share my photo while he had his clearly posted on his profile page.

My initial reaction was one of defense. I wanted to explain my side and to change his mind about what he thought about me. I wanted to point out that it was his decision to post his pic, and he had no right to demand the same thing from others. I wanted to send him my own series of messages because I was annoyed and taken aback. But instead, I listened to reason and just thanked him for his time.

Some of us show pride by shouting to the world that they are gay. The rest opt to keep our sexual preferences private for a variety of reasons. I personally am not ashamed of being gay. I do not, however, have this boiling desire inside of me to announce to everyone I meet that I like men. For me, this does not equate to pride. You don't have to put yourself on display to the whole world just to be able to say that you are proud of who you are. Just being yourself, in the privacy of your own circle, is enough.

After all, you don't see straight people marching on the streets with banners saying "we are straight." Why the hell should we? (Note that marching on the streets to advocate gay rights is a totally different thing. We are, after all, being discriminated still.)

I guess it all boils down to respect. We all have our own beliefs and personalities, and we deal with situations differently. There are so many facets to being gay, in the same manner that people come in different sizes, shapes and colors. We are free to choose who we want to deal with, but we should not ostracize people just because they are different from what we perceive as correct.