It's the same sad story. Girl meets boy. Boy courts girl. Girl falls for boy. Boy takes care of girl for a while. Girl thinks marriage. Boy meets boy. Girl remains clueless. Boy falls for boy.
This is probably one of the worst things that could happen to a girl's self confidence. Surely, it would be better if the guy just falls out of love or cheats with another woman, right? Surely, there must be something wrong with her for the guy to suddenly change preference on her, right? It would be super embarrassing to know that she got beat in the love game by someone who shouldn't have been a contender in the first place, right? Oh the shame! I can imagine how the girl ends up not only being the victim, but the one who takes the blame as well. She should have seen it coming, right?
As a gay guy who used to have girlfriends, I can honestly say (I can at least talk about my own experiences) that I had no ill intentions coming into my heterosexual relationships. I did love those girls. I did have plans with them. And I did have intimate relations with them (and enjoyed it). But at the end of the day, true love was somewhere else to be found. And like a normal person who looks for love, I ended things and moved on to what made me truly happy. I am not evil. Breakups happen, and people move on. I just needed to go on my own path.
But how, pray tell, can the ladies prevent such an unfortunate end? Is it even possible to spot a "transitioning gay guy?" Is it possible to stop the heartbreak from happening and avoiding such a situation altogether? I would have to say that there is no definitive answer to this question: anything can happen. I can, however, leave you with some tell-tale signs that your man (bless his heart) MIGHT swing the other way soon.
Birds of the same feather, flock together
It may sound cliche, but there is truth to the saying "show me your friends, and I will know who you are." Gay guys crave for like-minded companionship. The closeted ones, in particular, desire to have a group of friends with whom they can share their innermost secrets and desires. It is hard being a closeted gay guy without at least one person knowing your secret. Sniff around and see if you notice anything different with his friends.
The vanity of the metrosexual
Vanity is common nowadays, but they say that gay guys are a notch more inclined to be vain compared to their heterosexual counterparts. Check his grooming kit and see if he has a lip balm, an armpit whitening cream, a concealer, or nail polish. While these may not necessarily mean he is gay, you can use these as "supporting evidences" when you build your case.
Listen for pronouns
I hate lying to people, so when they ask me about my relationships I generally try to give them an honest answer. "Yes, I'm with someone. Yes, I live with my baby. No, I have not met the parents. No, we are not colleagues. My lover is a good person. The person I am with is the love of my life." As you may have noticed, I didn't use pronouns such as "he" or "his." That way, I get to tell the truth and not expose the fact that I am with someone of the same sex. This may sound weird, but will totally make sense once you catch him doing it.
Check for apps
Discreet gay guys mostly rely on technology to meet other gay guys. Unless of course they are given the opportunity to be in a confined space with just another guy. So the next time he takes a shower, check out his phone and look for dating apps. You can also check his browsing history and see if he has been to any gay porn site or gay forum.
Spending quality time
Lastly, the ultimate gauge will be on how you are feeling when you are with him. There will be obvious changes when a guy is about to bolt, and the changes will be so much more apparent if the guy plans to ditch you for another guy. Pay attention to your instincts. Is he spending less quality time with you? Does he seem distant? Does he touch you less frequently? Are the kisses passionate enough? Does it feel like he has been dying to tell you something important?
Again, these indicators are NOT 100% fool proof. You may need to harness your investigative side further, or you can simply confront your man and get it over and done with. These are tough times, and you need to make sure you are properly equipped with information in order to protect yourself from disappointment.
Image courtesy of rawstory.com
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