Forget These 10 Relationship Rules!

by Discreet Serpent

We have all heard the "experts." These relationship "gurus" have laid down the rules and told us what we all need to do in order to make our relationship work. Just do what they are saying and we will all live happily ever after. But guess what? Relationships still end. Partners still fight. These so called "rules" aren't 100% reliable, after all.

My advice? Forget these relationship rules!

image courtesy of aei-ideas.org

1. "Learn each other's hobbies"

If he is a basketball freak and you are a fan of the arts, you can try bridging your gap by participating in each other's hobbies once in a while. This does not mean, however, that you have to force yourself to learn how to play the game. And you shouldn't expect him to watch the opera with you every weekend, either. You are allowed to enjoy your own interests separately.

2. "Your partner is your best friend"

He should be allowed to have his own close friends, someone whom he can talk to in case he needs advice about his relationship issues with you. You both need other people in your lives whom you can rely on and talk to in times of need. Let's face it: you may be the love of his life but he has probably known his best buddies since they were kids.

3. "You must share all secrets"

If you share all your secrets with him, you risk losing the trust of other people. Certain things need to be kept under wraps, like your best friend's secret love affair or your closeted brother's sexual preference. You just need to discern which secrets are worth sharing, and which secrets are irrelevant to your relationship.

image courtesy of theblaze.com

4. "Don't go to bed when you are angry at each other"

While this is a good relationship rule, it only works when both parties are genuinely apologetic and forgiving. But if you guys are just forcing yourself to be "happy" for the sake of following a rule, then you are just deceiving yourselves. Sometimes, a good night's sleep helps take away the anger and irritation. You may wake up in the morning realizing how stupid your argument the previous day was.

5. "You should be together in every event"

While it should be expected that you are each other's date during weddings and family affairs, there are certain activities that you need to do separately. If he needs to go out with his high school buddies, for example, then there's no need for you to tag along. You will just end up feeling uncomfortable because nobody knows you, and your partner probably won't enjoy because he has to take care of you.

6. "Don't ask (or beg) someone to make time for you"

It is a common relationship mistake to think that your partner should be sensitive to what you need at all times. Yes, he is expected to know you, but he is not a mind reader. There are things that are better said out loud. So if you feel that he has been spending too much time at the office, it would be wiser to just ask him to go on a date with you instead of waiting for something that probably won't happen.

image courtesy of washingtonblade.com

7. "You must have a date night at least once a week"

It's sweet of you to devote at least one night for each other, and this would definitely help boost your relationship for the better. However, this must not be an absolute rule. There are instances where you will need to make adjustments and cancel on each other. If he can't make your Saturday night date because he has to bring his mother around, you will need to understand and not throw a fit.

8. "Forget about the ex"

In some relationships, the topic of "the ex boyfriend" is considered taboo. After all, what's in the past should remain in the past, right? Well, if you take time to know what happened with his ex you may learn a thing or two about making your current relationship work better. It will also put all your insecurities and questions about his previous relationships at bay.

9. "Once you break up, you should not get back together"

They say that breakups are indicators that your relationship is doomed. You will make the same mistakes over and over again, hurting each other more in the process. On the flip side, breakups will make you realize how much your partner really means to you. It will show you how important he is and how he makes your life better. A reconciliation also means forgiveness, something that will make your relationship so much stronger.

10. "Don't listen to what your friends say about him"

While it is true that you are the one who should truly know your partner, it would also be wise to take the advice of your friends. If they all tell you that your partner is bad news, then maybe you should look into the matter and not turn a blind eye. Trust is essential in a relationship, but it doesn't mean that you should be stupid.

image courtesy of syracuse.com

In summary, I do believe that certain rules need to be followed in order for a relationship to work. The absence of rules, after all, will result in chaos and anarchy. We are, however, supposed to be intelligent human beings who can make decisions for ourselves. As such, we should know when to "bend" these rules to our advantage.


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