7 Signs of Abuse in a Relationship

From Guest Writer "Casey"

There are probably moments in your relationship when you think you are ready to quit. In retrospect, you thought you were the luckiest person in the world when you and your partner met. You thought the universe has conspired to bring you to the perfect person. Eventually, however, you realized you were wrong. The bliss you once knew is now replaced with conflicting emotions. Both of your worlds have suddenly made a 180-degree turn for the worse. You have been physically, emotionally, financially and sexually abused. And despite that you still fail to identify the red flags that show you are in an abusive relationship.

image courtesy of bobverini.com

#1 Your partner is controlling every aspect of your life and you let it stay that way for too long.

He controls your every move. He has this habit of being bossy and that you are there to do every bidding. Furthermore, he believes that he should know everything that is going on with your life. He frequently interrogates you about where you were, whom you have been calling or texting and whom you are with. It even goes to the extent of checking your phone regularly. What you need is to set clear boundaries for them. Don’t be their puppet. This is a sign of abuse because he doesn’t allow you to be your own person. You don’t get to have the freedom and autonomy to do what you need to do; it always has to be done his way.

#2 Your partner blames you for his blunders and you are always there ready to absorb all his faults.

He plays the blame game so well even though he is obviously the one at fault. He is too proud to admit his mistakes. He redirects all errors to you and makes you feel guilty about it especially when it comes to being violent. You tolerate receiving all the blame and never budging to take a stand and because of that your partner is able to pass the responsibility and accountability of his faults so easily. This is sign of abuse because couples ought to take responsibility of their own faults and not direct the blame to only one of the couple.

image courtesy of www.doctornerdlove.com

#3 Your partner abuses you verbally and you take it like it is normal.

He talks to you with harsh words when he wants to get his message across and it doesn’t matter when or where. It seems that doing such an act increases his self-esteem because he has someone to put down and degrade. Your partner calls you derogatory names, curses you and humiliates you privately or publicly. At first, you get hurt from all the euphemisms but as time passes you take it like it is normal. You have hardened your heart to whatever banter your partner can throw at you. This is a sign of abuse because that mutual respect that is expected of each relationship has obviously faded.

#4 Your partner isolates you from any support person and you feel powerless to change the situation.

Your partner tries to cut off ties from your friends or family. He gradually deprives you from calling them or visiting them on your free time until finally you drift away. He prevents you from getting a job and seeing other people. He also has unsubstantiated accusations that you are cheating and flirting with someone else. Severing your ties with people gives him greater control over you because now you have no other support person you can hold on to. This is a sign of abuse because the isolation makes you vulnerable and easy to manipulate.

image courtesy of crisispoint.org.uk

#5 Your partner tends to get physical on fights and forces sex and you end up unable to fight back and resist.

Physical and abuse is probably one of the most common traits of abuse in a relationship. This can be attributed to him feeling powerful and dominant over you that he literally becomes physical. Grabbing, hitting and pushing are just some ways by which he inflicts injury. Also your partner forces you to have sex and do things you don’t want to do. This is a sign of abuse because forcing one’s dominance over another person is just not right.

#6 Your partner loosely resort to threats and it is more than enough to tame you.

He utters threats like it’s normal. Your partner does this so that you will fear him and you won’t attempt to do things that he doesn’t like. He may yell and threaten to harm you or any of your family or friends. He may say statements like, “I will kill you,” but then take it back when he has finally defused his temper. When he charms you back you easily give in to his strategies of winning you back. This is a sign of abuse because this is instilling terror and no one deserves to be in a relationship that breeds fear.

image courtesy of www.advocate.com

#7 Your partner is easily ticked off and have mood swings almost every day and you still live with it.

He easily gets angry and irritable but it may wax and wane. You become the easy target if he wants to draw that anger out after that he starts charming you back and the cycle repeats itself. You know you need to stop to all of this but you still put up with it. This is a sign of abuse because a relationship should promote emotional growth not emotional turmoil.


By now, you may feel confused and helpless but do not worry this is usually expected of someone who has experienced abuse. Do not sulk but rather let this article be an eye opener for you to take action. Don’t settle for what you have at present. Leaving a relationship is never easy but if staying means that you are sacrificing your safety then fleeing now is probably the best option. You are a person who gives love and needs love you should know that you deserve better.



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Love Has No Labels

Even as a kid, I have always believed that love has no labels. I have recently been asked this series of questions: Have you ever had girlfriends? Did you have sex with them? Did you just use them and not truly love them? Does that make you a lying jerk?

My response: I have, in fact, been in several heterosexual relationships in the past. And yes, I have been intimate with some of them. Does that make me straight? Not really. I think that deep down I have always known my sexual preference. Does that make me a liar? I'm not sure. What I do know is that I remember having strong feelings for all of them. And I have never forced myself into doing stuff with them. I have always said that I love the person and not the gender. That does not make sense to a lot of my friends, but it sure hell makes sense to me.

So I guess that's the reason why this video hit a homerun for me. It involves a simple stunt, really. Some guys put a giant x-ray screen in a crowded area and featured some dancing skeletons. These figures hugged, kissed and showed everyone what love is all about. They then step out and show everyone that love is universal, and that it has no race, religion, disability and gender.



Good stuff!



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Gay Kid Comes Out; Dad Pours Boiling Water On Him

by Discreet Serpent

This headline caught my attention today:

Father poured boiling water over his gay son for coming out as gay.

What made my jaw drop:

1. These Lebanese men were trying to force a 15 year old gay kid into a straight marriage.

2. The kid's dad beat him and poured boiling water on him. One of the uncles doused him in petrol and threatened to set him on fire.

3. The perpetrators were fined 1,350 Euros each.

4. These all happened after the kid came out as gay.

Image courtesy of The Economist

This is very disturbing on so many levels. First, I'm not sure about Lebanese laws against homosexuality but I believe I read an article somewhere stating that the country treats homosexuals better compared to some of their neighboring countries. In any case, it is still a bit extreme for family members to deal with a gay kid with violence and threat to life.

Nobody deserves to be at the receiving end of boiling water and death threats. Let me rephrase that. Maybe criminals of the highest order deserve that kind of treatment (maybe), but certainly not a young kid who just wants to be true to himself. Violence does not solve anything, most certainly not the "problem" of homosexuality (in other words, you can't turn a gay guy straight by washing him off with boiling water).

Then there's the issue about forced marriage. As if getting a gay guy into bed with a woman would somehow magically turn him straight. In reality, an arranged marriage like this would most likely end up in disaster. The gay husband is likely to end up cheating on his poor wife. Things will get worse if they somehow manage to produce offspring.

What irks me the most is how miniscule the penalty is. 1,350 Euros. Is this how little a gay kid's life is valued? I wonder how much the "penalty" would have been if it was the kid who doused these criminals with boiling water?


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5 Ways to Curb Your Cravings

A sumptuous meal made up of all your favorite dishes sounds good after an intense workout. Your body is tired from exercise and craves for sustenance. Your kitchen is just a few steps away. Unfortunately, you're on a diet and you need to meet your fitness goals. Here are six tips that will help curb your cravings and help control your appetite.

image courtesy of www.dailyhiit.com

1. It's All in the Mind

Before you give in to your cravings, take a minute to think about how binge eating would impact your body. Ask yourself: “Will this cake satisfy me? Or should I take something nutritious and light instead?” Being impulsive will only ruin your fitness goals.

Distraction is a powerful tool to keep your mind off of food. As soon as you feel the urge to eat, do something else! Listen to music, read a book, watch your favorite TV series, write an article or take your dog for a walk. Trick your mind into being busy so you can avoid thoughts of food and sustenance.

2. Think About Disgusting Things

Another way to overcome your craving for food is to think of something that will make you lose your appetite. Watch a gory zombie movie or the latest Chainsaw Massacre flick. Go to your pantry and take a whiff out of the spice that makes you want to throw up. Look for unhealthy facts about the food that you are craving for (such as the fact that it takes up to four days for instant noodles to be digested) and watch your cravings disappear. Or you can simply imagine all the calories entering your body, bulking you up in all the wrong places.

image courtesy of www.eatingwell.com

3. Inspire Yourself

Who are your “fitspirations?” Is it Christiano Ronaldo or Allyson Felix? Inspiring and motivating yourself to stay fit can shake off your cravings away. Diverting your attention to your “fitspirations” can help you fight the urge to overeating. Leave constant reminders around you: a photo posted on your fridge, a motivational message on your work desk, or an awesome wallpaper on your smartphone. Let that great looking body inspire you to eat healthy and work out more!

4. Manage Stress

Stress causes you to crave food. When you are stressed, hormones that cause you to look for “rewards” are released by the body. These will trick you into thinking that succumbing to your cravings will give you comfort. Don't let stress dominate you. Get enough rest, take stress relievers, cuddle with your partner or go to the nearest spa. There are many ways to relieve stress without giving in to your sinful cravings.

image courtesy of chughtailab.com

5. Hydrate

Drinking enough water can help get rid of your food craving. Dehydration can be mistaken by your body as hunger and it results to a desire to eat more. Drinking water makes you think that you are full and provides temporary satisfaction to your hunger pangs. Hydrating will keep you from eating more than you should and will keep you satisfied until the next meal.

Never let your cravings control you; instead, you should control your cravings.

The Miss Universe Fiasco

My Facebook and Twitter feeds have been (not shockingly) bombarded by Miss Universe related posts the past couple of days, and quite frankly they are starting to get really irritating. Here are some of the things that fans and critics have been circulating as gospel truth:

1. The Colombia Conspiracy Theory
As it turns out, the person behind the Philippine beauty pageant industry came from Colombia (Stella Marquez Araneta). She has insisted on using the designs of fellow Colombian Alfredo Barraza, citing on national television that the submissions of local designers were "no good." Barraza is said to also have designed the gown worn by this year's winner (Ms. Colombia). As a "logical conclusion," Ms. Philippines (MJ Lastimosa) lost because the Colombian forces rallied to sabotage her chances of winning.

2. The Last Minute Distraction
Rumor has it that right before the evening gown competition, MJ decided to wear a pink gown made by a Philippine designer. Araneta wouldn't hear it and demanded that MJ wear the white mermaid gown designed by Barraza. She allegedly went on a fit and started shouting at "poor MJ." As a result, MJ had a terrible performance at the gown competition which in turned caused her defeat.

3. #MJAllTheWay
This hashtag has trended well on Twitter, and it obviously shows huge support for the Philippine candidate. Some people jokingly said that the judges "got confused" by the hashtag and thought that "MJ" meant "Miss Jamaica." That somehow had something to do with the turnout. Go figure.

4. Miss Jamaica is actually Miss Philippines
Speaking of Miss Jamaica, the fan favorite got extra mileage when a certain columnist hinted on the possibility that she has Filipino roots. Responsible journalism at its best.

5. Blame it on Manny
The Philippines has successfully penetrated the top 5 since 2009, and weirdly enough we failed to make it the very year that a fellow Filipino (boxer Manny Pacquiao) was chosen to be a judge. Is he to blame?

The list goes on and on, but I guess you guys get the point. Since I already painstakingly took the time to write this article, let me go ahead and share my thoughts about the issues.

1. Renowned Filipino designer Michael Cinco posted a bunch of photos of gowns he thought would make MJ win the crown. Nice gowns, I have to say. Well designed. But I am pretty sure he was not one of the "no good" designers who submitted their gown designs before the competition. (I wonder what the process is? Do designers just go in and voluntarily submit designs, or does the team have a selection process?) His gowns are probably too expensive anyway. Hopefully, he backs up his words (or in this case, images) by donating a free gown to next year's candidate.

2. Truth be told, MJ had no business insisting on wearing a certain gown at the last minute. If this were true, then I would think that she should be held responsible if she became emotional or "upset" on stage. If she felt passionately about wearing a certain design, she should have discussed this with her team way ahead of time. If I were Ms Araneta, I would probably also scream at MJ for being unprofessional. I mean, come on! Stick with the program, girl! And besides, if she got to wear the pink gown and still lost, I'm pretty sure that the blame will simply be shifted to her ("You should have worn that stunning Colombian design!")

3. I'm pretty sure the #MJAllTheWay confusion is just a joke.

4. I honestly don't know if Miss Jamaica is part Filipina, but I think I read somewhere that she has already denied this on Instagram. Very interesting how this was brought up in the first place.

5. My only comment about Manny is that he should have rehearsed reading his question multiple times before reading it on air. Practice makes perfect.

As a final thought, I must say that I enjoyed watching this year's Miss Universe pageant. If only for the interesting Q and A rounds. The 2-part Q&A was a special treat for me.

New Year's Resolution

It's been over a month since my last post. My, how time goes by. People have been asking me if I lost interest in maintaining this blog, or if I have decided to move on with other things. Truth be told, I can't fault them for asking these questions. I am known, after all, to have a really short attention span. I quickly lose interest in things and move on to new experiences. Like a bumblebee looking for new sources of nectar.

And maybe I have. The past month has been spent reconnecting with friends and "partying." The holiday season has that effect in my country. Some days I even had up to three parties in one day (two of which I hosted myself). My Facebook page was filled with photos from the various restaurants and houses that I visited. I literally painted the town red. It's no wonder that I found little time to work on articles or even read stuff online.

Now, the "party days" are almost over. I say almost because I still have a couple of post-holiday parties lined up in the next few weeks. But I do have time now to touch base with the things that are important to me. Like blogging. And possibly earning a few bucks writing articles. I may even have time to jot down resolutions for the coming year.

Do I believe in New Year resolutions? Not exactly. I think these resolutions almost always end up unfulfilled. But they are not without benefits. I do think that they give us a good kick to start off the year right. And if only for that, I will go ahead and list down a few.

1. Keep a positive outlook. I tried the #100HappyDays challenge last year and it actually made me a better person. For 100 days I posted a photo of something that I was grateful for on any given day. Mine of course came with a commentary on what happened and what reflections I had. After 100 days I noticed that I had a fresher outlook of the world. This year, I plan to write down at least one thing that made me happy on my daily journal. The challenge would be for me to keep it within one or two sentences. (Now that's a challenge).

2. Be more organized. I do things as I please, making me one of the most disorganized persons in the universe. Things get done based on my mood, hence I found myself with a lot of unproductive hours last year. This year, I will make a check list of things that I want to accomplish in any given day. I plan to keep track of my productivity rate. I'm very competitive, so I think I should be able to get at least a 90% on any given day. We'll see.

3. Ooops. Time's up. Gotta move on to the other things on my list today.

5 Pitfalls To Avoid Before Moving In With Your Partner

You are madly in love with your new boyfriend, and you suddenly want to move in with him. And why not? Life will be so much better if you go to bed together and wake up in the morning with each other, right? Well, you may be into each other but you have to take some things into consideration prior to moving in together. There are certain pitfalls that you need to avoid during your decision making process. Read on.

image courtesy of lustralboy.com

1. Do not assume that your roommates are okay with it
This is a non-issue if you have your own place, but a big deal if you are rooming with other people. You have to make the decision taking other people into consideration. You may think that your mates are okay with you bringing in a new person, but not everyone is as welcoming as you are. Make sure to consult them first, and get their honest opinion about having your boyfriend live with them. If they disagree with you, you have no choice but to respect their decision. Or to move out.

2. Do not be blinded by the promise of more money
Most people think that moving in together is more economical. After all, you now have somebody to split your bills with. If you have the same body type and shoe size, you also just doubled your wardrobe. You also save a lot on travel expenses and restaurant bills. But if this is your main consideration, you have another thing coming. After all, this "benefit" could blind you from other "deal breakers." Be prudent, and don't let the temptation of a bigger budget faze you. 

 3. Do not take him for granted because you live together
Just because you live with your partner does not mean that you can stop consciously making an effort to make time for him. Stop thinking "I see him everyday, anyway!" because before you know it, you are no longer paying attention to him. Proximity does not mean intimacy, and you still have to  take time for dates. So when you decide to live together, make sure to set regular quality time together.

4. Do not forget to make time for yourself
You may live together and see each other regularly, but that does not mean that you can't set aside personal "me" time. Successful relationships are usually those between partners who respect each other's personal time. They have their own lives and can spend time with their own sets of friends. A partnership, after all, is still made up of two individuals. Do not lose your individuality just because you now have a live-in partner.

5. Do not assume that everything will be easy
After all, love is never enough. This is a major change in both of your lives, and it will take some time before you fully assimilate into each other's lives. There are so many things that could go wrong, and keeping the toilet clean is but one of those things.


So before you jump head first into a decision that could potentially ruin your life, take a big step backwards and think about all the pros and cons. After all, living with the one you love could be the best thing that will ever happen to you. Sadly, it could also spell the beginning of the end.


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Pitch Perfect Spoof "Bitch Perfect"

Pitch Perfect 2 is coming to the big screen soon, and it's inevitable to have a couple of spoofs and imitations on the side. This one is called "Bitch Perfect," and it's a battle for supremacy between tops and bottoms. And then some.

The first time I watched this video, I got irritated. I'm not quite certain why, but it could because of all the gay stereotypes paraded around. I had to turn off my critical mind for like 2 seconds to give it a second shot. As it turned out, the video is funny if you just turn off your cranial abilities. Seriously, give it a shot.




The hunky guys doing their sing and dance routine aren't that bad, either.


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Study Shows Support For Gay Rights But Not Guys Kissing In Public

A recent study just revealed what I thought was pretty much obvious for the longest time. It looks like there's an increasing support for gay rights, but no so much love for guys kissing in public.

The survey involved 1,000 respondents, a combination of gay, straight and lesbian individuals. They were instructed to give reactions to hypothetical scenarios pertaining to unmaried couples of varying gender combinations: two men, two women, and man/woman.

image courtesy of alanilagan.com

Sample questions: Should a couple be granted legal benefits like family leave, hospital visitation and inheritance rights? Should they be allowed to marry? Is it cool to display a peck on the cheek in a public place? How about a French kiss in a park?

Here are some of the results:
* 70 percent of straight respondents supported gay couples’ legal benefits, and 95 percent of them thought it was fine for a man and a woman to peck each other on the cheek in public.

* When asked the same question about a gay male couple, that 95 percent support dropped to 55.

* When asked about two women, it jumped back up to 72 percent.

Some people look at these results and say that people are still discriminating against gay people. Why else would they be disgusted with seeing them kissing in public, right?

For me, a passionate kiss should be kept in private. If I see it in public, I would think it's inappropriate regardless of who shared the kiss.


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Who Is Ellen's New Gardener?

A few weeks back, we got news that Ellen's gardener, Nick, got the opportunity of a lifetime and scored a Magic Mike XXL gig. Great for him. But his absence left Ellen with untrimmed bushes. And she sent out a quest for a temporary gardener.

So now, we are down to the final three contenders. Which one of them will be the lucky one?

Ellen had them parade around shirtless, and asked each one of them a simple question. But the final decision came from the audience: the guy who got the loudest clap got the job!







And there we have it.


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Zac Efron Tells James Franco He Masturbates 17 Times A Day!

Zac Efron is hilarious. He "guested" in a talk show with James Franco, who was playing his role as Dave Skylark from the comedy "The Interview." Yep, the one where he and Seth Rogen play "spies" who were charged to assassinate Kim Jong-Un.

James starts the show by saying: "Tonight, the topic is masturbation. The guest is Zac Efron, who seems to be a bit of a master of masturbation." They then talk about how the High School Musical star masturbates at least 17 times a day, and how he is able to do it with both his hands behind the wheel. Such talent!

"I can drive with my hands and masturbate with my knees," Zac boasts. He then starts to demonstrate.
James then talks to the tv audience and says: "If you're just joining us, Zac Efron is masturbating with no hands and is about to climax."


 
You just gotta watch this! Don't you just wish that the things Zac said were true? He doesn't have a problem, indeed. He is the solution.


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Nick Jonas: No Longer A Virgin!

This site is fast becoming a Nick Jonas tribute page! But I just can't help it! He's just too hot and adorable at the same time!

Also, he is all over the place with his hit single "Jealous" topping the charts and his TV show "Kingdom" airing.

Nick guested on the The Wendy Williams Show recently, and Wendy asked point blank if he was still a virgin. This was of course brought about by the "purity ring" that Nick and his brother wore years ago, pledging to keep their virginity until the right moment.

 His response?
“No. I’m an adult in all ways and comfortable with who I am." 



I thought the response was pretty obvious, but hey, they had to ask!


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Meet The Sexiest Teacher Alive!

People Magazine just released its sexy men list, but they came up with a good twist this year. We now have a list of Sexy Men At Work, or "ordinary" guys who do "ordinary work" (but still look good enough to grace any front page).

So now, we all get to meet Nicholas Ferroni, PEOPLE Magazine's "Sexiest Teacher Alive"

 
Meredith Viera had him as a guest on The Meredith Viera Show, and they played a little game called "The History of Hot Guys." Very intriguing how this hot teacher was able to answer all the questions without even breaking a sweat. Especially that bit about Magic Mike.



And he did mention that he is an advocate for LGBT rights. Love this guy!


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Nick Jonas On Kim Kardashian's Photo

Nick Jonas was a guest on Meredith Vieira's show earlier this week, and they had a short chat about Kim Kardashian. More specifically, they talked about how Nick's face ended up on Kim's "booty photo."

As it turns out, the whole thing was to be blamed on Joe Jonas. Nick had this to say about the viral photo recreation:

“That was his idea. We were out in the city the other night and obviously it was the day Kim’s shoot came out and he pulled it up on his phone and said, ‘Oh my God someone just sent me this.’ And I said you have to post that right now, you have no choice and he did and I think it’s one of his most liked pictures on Instagram now.”



I don't know about you, but I would much rather have Nick's face on his own body.


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2015 Men of the Vet School Calendar

Cornell University just released its "2015 Men of the Vet School Calendar," and it's worth the attention! You can get the calendar at this link.

The site provided this caption:
This year is better than ever- you want puppies, tractors, cows? We got it all. The sexiest men of the vet school get cuddly with some of the cutest animals around. Get yours now, as there is limited supply! They make excellent gifts, especially with the holiday season nearing.

Are you inclined to get one?


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13 Year Old Kid To Best Bro: "I Like Boys"

A Twitter user named @paleveil shared a text message conversation between her 13-year-old brother and his best friend. The tweet goes:

this convo between my brother and his best friend just warms my heart so much. And they're only 13. pic.twitter.com/59F8b0WJLD
— ✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ (@paleveil) November 8, 2014

This exchange quickly became viral, giving hope to all closeted gay guys that perhaps they also have a guy best friend who would accept them and love them no matter what.

Other people, like Twitter user @sometimestyles, had a different take on the matter. Not to be outdone, our social media savvy friend had this response:

rule number 1 kids, don't talk if u don't know any of the facts bc it only makes u look like an idiot. pic.twitter.com/xu4VtPWQUP
— ✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ (@paleveil) November 14, 2014

What do you think about this private conversation?


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Video Game Banned In India Because Of Gay Character

If you live in India, and if you have taken a liking to playing the hit game Dragon Age: Inquisition, then you are in for some really bad (and sadly homophobic) news. While the game has been released all over the world, it sadly skipped India.

The game's publisher, Electronic Arts, has decided to withdraw the game from India, saying that they’re doing so “in order to avoid a breach of local content laws.” Boo!

Previous Dragon Age games have featured queer content, but the new installment has taken it to the next level: rather than having an option for bisexual romances, Dragon Age: Inquisition features a gay party member named Dorian. Some say that this is the main reason why EA has pulled out the game from the Indian market.

An Electronic Arts rep told Kotaku: “The decision here is in relation to local obscenity laws, but not specific to same gender romance.” 

Is this claim for real? We are not sure. But we should take into account that Electronic Arts previously released other games with lots of sexual content (such as Grand Theft Auto V). At the same time, they still have other Dragon Age and Mass Effect titles in the market. Also, it looks like the Indian distributor, Milestone Interactive, mentioned in another publication that the gay content was to blame.

What a shame.


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Is Harry Styles Bisexual?

One Directioner Harry Styles made the news last week when he made suggestive comments about possibly being bisexual. In an interview, Harry told a reporter that gender is “not that important” when evaluating or looking for a potential new partner or mate.

The media had a field day with the story and milked it for all it's worth. Fellow One Directioner Louis Tomlinson even went as far as getting into a Twitter war with a reported when he thought he was being called gay.

The one person not affected by it all? Harry Styles himself. He even added fuel to the fire by giving more suggestive comments regarding his sexuality.

During another interview, he and the only other "single" One Direction member, Niall, were asked about their love lives. They then joked about how Niall sleeps with a different lady each week. The reporter suggested that the next person should be a guy. Harry's response? He placed his hand on Niall’s knee and told him, “Don’t knock it ’til you try it.”

HMMMM....


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Hot Guy Of The Week: Jesse Metcalfe

We all remember Jesse Metcalfe as the young and hunky gardener in "Desperate Housewives." Even then, he has been the object of everyone's desire because of his good looks and sex appeal. Now that he has matured a bit, Jesse has maintained every bit of his desirability and hunkiness.


Last June, photographer Stephen Busken took photos of Jesse Metcalfe for a Flaunt Magazine editorial. Check out this link for more of that. As it turns out, the two joined forces once again to give the world these steamy photos!

image courtesy of homorazzi.com

image courtesy of homorazzi.com

image courtesy of homorazzi.com

image courtesy of homorazzi.com

He looks really problematic in these shots. Would anyone of you care to cheer him up a little bit?


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What Every Parent Should Do When They Find Out Their Child Is Gay

A must read story.

It all began when Reddit user HeMeYou borrowed his 13 year old son's iPad. He snooped around and discovered Google searches in the lines of "I'm gay what now?" and realized he was ill-equipped to handle such a situation. What would a straight guy do when he finds out that his son is gay? What is the proper reaction? How would he move forward?

He did what other modern guy would do. He took the internet and posted the following questions:

I love him regardless of which gender he loves, in fact when I was slightly older than him I had a few flings with guys, which he doesn’t know about, so I am 100% supportive. He has seemed slightly down recently, as in, he isn’t as cheerful as he once was, and I desperately want to tell him that I love him regardless of which sexuality he is.

What are my options? Should I wait for him to tell me? Or should I make a few hints at it?
I’m worried that if I don’t hint at it, that he will be worried about something that he really doesn’t have to be worried about… if that makes sense.

It comes to no surprise that this message got a lot of responses. Too many people out there who had a similar experience, or wished that their parents were thoughtful enough to have sought the help of other people. Super Dad got a lot of love from commenters and Reddit users, and he quickly became the person that every parent with a gay child should aspire to be. Here are some of the responses:

After hearing from everybody, it looks like he had a success story to share. He posted this update for all his followers to see:

Firstly, I’d just like to thank all of you who commented and gave me advice on the previous post, and because the post got so much attention I thought it wouldn’t be fair for me not to make an update.
As many comments suggested that I do, is to slightly hint toward the notion that I am perfectly happy with having a gay son, while letting him do the work in actually saying the words “I’m gay”, and I thought that was a very good idea.

I started off with talking about general media with him, for instance I mentioned how awesome it was that Tim Cook (CEO of Apple) came out as being gay and I asked him what he thought about it and I was completely expecting him to give a typical teenager response like “yeah.. its good” or something like that but he actually gave me a detailed response which I absolutely loved because for the first time in a good while I’ve actually held a conversation with my son that felt really… rewarding.

I also wanted to talk to him about how I’ve noticed that he’s not been acting as cheerful as he usually has and I sort of gave the cliche spiel of “I love you no matter what and I just want to see you be happy” but I didn’t get much of a response that time apart from “yeah I know..”

The next day as I picked him up from school I thought I’d ask him about any crushes he has, and I wanted to make sure I didn’t say a gender when I asked him, so instead of ‘he’ or ‘she’ I used ‘they’ etc.. Here is that conversation as I remember it…

Me: So, do you have a crush on anyone?
Son: Uhm… no..m..maybe..
Me: Ohhh so who is the lucky person?
At this point he sort of looked at me slightly confused, I’m not 100% sure why, but I’m assuming it is because I said “lucky person” rather than “lucky girl”.
Son: Just someone from my french class…
Me: Oh yeah… so what do you like about them?
Son: Just.. stuff..
Me: Okay.. but.. like what?
Son: I donno they’re just kinda funny I guess…

At this point I dropped the conversation but just before I did I told him “Well, whoever it is, they should be so lucky to have you as a boyfriend..” and while I didn’t see it, I certainly felt as though he was rolling his eyes at my cheesy comments.

At the dinner table the same day, while we were eating we had a couple minutes of silence, not much was heard apart from the cutlery and my son finally said “I actually wanted to tell you something in the car, but I was afraid you’d get in an accident..” I looked up from my plate and looked at him straight in the eyes… I could see he was thinking about something and all I could think of was “OMG this is it…” he said “Dad..” with a couple seconds of silence “..I’m gay”. I looked at him and couldn’t help myself from smiling, and I told him “____, you know I love you so much… right?” and I got up and gave him a huge hug. He even started to cry on my shoulder and because of that I couldn’t help myself but shed a couple tears. We talked for a bit while finishing our dinner about how I can’t emphasize enough that I love him regardless of which gender he loves etc…

After dinner and after he finished his homework we both lay in our pajamas on the sofa, while I was watching the Cooking Channel and he was playing on his iPad. I had my arm around him and he was leaning his head on my chest, and all I could think of was that I’m the happiest father on earth right now.

Thank you all so much for your feedback and suggestions on the last post. All of you are so kind on this subreddit, so many of you sent me PM’s explaining how I was a super dad and it honestly brightened my day.

For those curious as to what I will be doing next, I’ve already started doing some research in LGBT Youth Communities and I think joining one would be a perfect start to helping my son develop into the person he has the potential to being.

Thank you all again…

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what you should do when you find out that your child is gay.


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